


In Person

by bigblueboxat221b



Category: Come From Away - Sankoff & Hein
Genre: Angst, Anniversary, Another Screech In, Diane POV, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Holding Hands, Long-Distance Relationship, Musicals, Separation Anxiety, They didn't kiss in Gander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 13:23:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20601488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigblueboxat221b/pseuds/bigblueboxat221b
Summary: Leaving Gander was always going to be heartbreaking, but with their relationship still awkward and undefined, Diane had no idea what the future held for her and Nick. Long distance was difficult, but just as she started to think it would fall apart, she tells Nick her resolution to return to Gander in 2002...and before she knows it, they're each heading back to Gander for the one year memorial ceremonies.Will things be different when they can talk in person, or were they never destined to live happily ever after?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is not RPF  
While Nick and Diane in the musical are based on real people, this story is set strictly in the fictional representation of them in the musical, ‘Come From Away’. I haven’t done any research into their personal lives, and anything further than what is canon in the musical is completely made up, with the exception of some geographical details. This is not intended to represent the real life couple in any way, their thoughts, attitudes or actions. It’s just my brain saying, ‘what if?’, as it does to every story that resonates with me.

The more Diane thought about it, the more she was convinced he’d said, “I don’t want to go.”

It was hard to know, though, hard to separate the want from her memory. Their time up at the Dover Fault had been riddled with short exchanges, tiny islands in the sea of unsaid things that shifted slowly between them. On that day, Diane had no idea how to start a meaningful conversation; she could barely figure out how she felt, let alone try to articulate it to Nick. It felt like they were so close up here, and when their fingers brushed as they reached for the same section of railing there was definitely a spark. When she met Nick’s eyes he held on a little longer than he needed to, but Diane had no idea how to ask what that meant.

She couldn’t bear the idea of ruining the memories of the time they’d had here by doing or saying something uncomfortable. The idea that they might keep in touch when they went back to their respective homes was a hope she didn’t dare cling to too tightly, lest it evaporate. Emails and phone calls weren’t the same as seeing someone in real life, but it would extend this glorious time they’d had together. It would keep hope alive that they might one day meet again in real life.

She was so fearful, Diane thought despairingly. And she’d thought herself so brave, going to the screech-in, drinking beers in a bar with a roomful of virtual strangers. She thought she could be whoever she wanted to be – but underneath she was still the same person, still frightened of losing people by showing too much. Overthinking things, projecting possibilities until she couldn’t see the likely from the almost impossible. And here she was again, barely able to function in this stasis that held her. She couldn’t even tell what was the best course of action anymore, and she did nothing.

And so she cried. She cried at the shelter – locked in the bathroom, fixing her makeup carefully afterward; she cried on the bus, silent tears tracking down her face, turning away but knowing Nick could see her; she cried in the terminal, relieved she was no longer the only one. Kind locals were passing out tissues and hugs where necessary. Diane took the tissues but politely refused the hug. Nick was standing close, their shoulders almost brushing as they shifted in the uncomfortable plastic seats. It was as close as she was going to get to physical comfort from him, she thought, unless she was brave enough to show him how she felt.

And though it devastated her, she was not brave enough. Her heart was breaking in slow motion, crack by crack as they bounced over the uneven roads on the way to the airport, as they walked into the terminal, and now as they boarded the plane. This was the beginning of the end of this part of their friendship, and possibly the whole thing. And she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it.

They sat together, settling into seats in the back, and Diane could only think, _say something…but we’re leaving, and it’s over…_

It took mere seconds before the tears started again. She turned out the window again, knowing Nick knew she was crying but not even able to do anything about it. When his arm eased around her shoulder she closed her eyes, feeling the tears ramp up a level. The gentle weight of his arm was wonderful, as comforting and familiar as she’d dreamed it would be, but she was still plagued by the fear and uncertainty. Diane knew her shoulders were stiff, her body tight as she tried to hold herself from falling apart, ruining the last few moments they might ever spend together. She resisted the urge to melt into him, allowing herself only the smallest amount of reaction. She felt her breathing hitch, and her head tilted a little back towards him, her body resting against his solid warmth with a fraction of her weight.

It meant the kiss was probably firmer than he anticipated. His lips pressed against her forehead, and Diane felt her body respond – breath catch, heart kick up, blood rush to her skin in response. That skin tingled as he lingered, then pulled away. Desperate as she was to turn to him, to seek his own mouth with hers…her old fears, the insecurity bubbling up, acrid against the lining of her stomach, eating away at her self-confidence.

_He’s being kind. Comforting me._

_It doesn’t mean anything._

The hours passed, a flight attendant offering hot towels pulling Nick’s arm from Diane’s shoulder. They had barely spoken, but she yearned for it again, the unspoken bond between them. Instead there was only the cool air and achingly small space, broached only when one of them shifted their weight.

It was agony.

All too soon they were crossing the American border, then into Texas; Diane couldn’t believe it when they touched down, her breath coming in a gasp when the wheels settled and they felt the brakes engage. The cheers were overwhelmingly loud, and Diane couldn’t help turning to Nick, tears in her eyes.

He was looking at her too, the affection there as close to the surface as she’d seen. She wondered if this was the moment, if one of them would perhaps…

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for flying American Airlines!” the captain’s voice came over the intercom and Diane could feel the atmosphere between them shatter. “Welcome to Dallas, where the local time is 2.17pm. Please reset your watches,” her voice thickened here, “and take all your belongings as you disembark.”

Diane swallowed hard, automatically checking her bag before settling it on her lap. They were near the back, so most of the people would deplane before them; the waiting was agony. It was too loud to have any kind of conversation, let alone something serious, and she could barely bring herself to look at Nick. She wondered briefly when he would find another flight. Would he call her, or would she…

With a gasp, she turned to him. “I don’t have your phone number!”

He started, turning to her with wide eyes as he processed her words. “Yes,” he said. “I mean, no.” He pulled out his wallet, taking out a pen and a business card. “Do you have an email address?” he asked, jotting on the back of the card. “I check mine regularly for work. And this is my,” he coloured a little, “home phone number.”

“Okay,” Diane said. She took out her own address book, tearing a page from the back with fumbling fingers. He passed over his pen and she took it, gritting her teeth against the warmth of the metal from his body, the brief touch that sparked her skin. “This is me.” She added her name, phone number and email address, hand shaking a little as she printed the characters carefully. The paper folded in half and she passed it over to Nick along with his pen.

“Do you know when you’ll land in London?” Diane asked. She was trying for casual, but she wasn’t sure she pulled it off.

“I’ll book the first flight out,” Nick said. “I’m expected home as soon as possible, I believe.”

Diane nodded, tucking his business card carefully in her wallet. She had no idea what to say.

“I’ll call as soon as I get back,” Nick said.

“Okay,” Diane replied, her heart thumping already. Her brain swirled with questions. How long would it be before he could find a seat to London? How long was the flight, anyway? Once he arrived in London how long would it take him to get home? Would he need to sleep? Would that even need to happen before he called her? Would he play it cool?

Glancing up, Diane realised there was space for them to stand and join the people leaving. Nick noticed too, and they picked up their belongings and stood. Diane felt her muscles and joints shift and she stretched, standing for the first time in hours. She rolled her neck as they joined the line making their way slowly down the plane. It was surreal, walking toward the end of this most bizarre week of her life. She wondered what Dallas would be like. Were things different? Would David be home? She hadn’t listened to what time it was, but it was daylight, at least. There had been no time to make phone calls and tell people they were coming, so she didn’t expect anyone waiting for her.

As they approached the front it became obvious why they were taking so long. The passengers were hugging each of the flight crew, from the flight attendants to the pilot, and every single one of them was crying. Diane smiled but immediately started crying too, hugging each of the crew, murmuring thanks to them all. She lingered, waiting as Nick was hugged, smiling to herself as his awkward body language struggled with the genuine gratitude she saw on his face. They walked out together, and Diane could feel her steps slowing as they made it out of the runway. People weren’t dispersing, instead hugging each other, exchanging contact details, and still crying.

“This is surreal,” Diane murmured. She meant both her own experience and witnessing this from a flight of people disembarking.  
“I know,” Nick replied. She glanced up, and he was looking at her. Had he even noticed the people? Diane’s heart was suddenly pounding as their eyes locked, and she felt it – the last chance. Surrounded by people saying goodbye, the emotion in the air around them higher than it ever had been…and the fear rising in her throat, one last moment of doubt strangling the possibility she could almost taste. But it turned bitter, and she swallowed, seeing Nick’s eyes flick from her face, nervous as they assessed the crowd.

In a breath, the moment passed.

“So, you’ll call?” Diane asked, pushing the words out through her tight throat.

“As soon as I get back,” Nick said, his eyes still drinking in her face.

They stood for another moment, and Diane couldn’t not do something. She reached out, hand trembling as it found Nick’s, her eyes locked on his. She saw his eyes widen, his head tilt down to see her fingers around his. For a moment she wondered if he would respond, and then she felt the curl of his fingers, the pressure as he gripped her hand too. It lasted an instant, an aeon; and then it was over, and their skin was dragging against each other as their fingers loosened and dropped.

Diane smiled briefly, unable to frame the words that would definitively end their time together. Nick matched her expression, and she’d never understood the phrase ‘sad smile’ more fully.

And then she left, and he left…and then, despite the crowd of people, as his tall figure disappeared, she was alone. There was a moment of uncertainty when she almost ran after him, almost gave in to the desperate urge already to be close to him, but she was distracted as the flight crew disembarked. One of the flight attendants came over to her – Carly, she thought, the youngest member of the crew. They’d spoken one late night, quiet words together about Dallas, meaningless conversation that was somehow still comforting so far from home.

“Diane,” Carly said, tears streaming down her cheeks, “thank you for everything. You were wonderful.” She hugged Diane, and there was no room for thinking about Nick for a few moments as she spoke to Carly, and then the team leader, who also wanted to thank her for supporting Carly; and then they left, and most of the crowd was gone. And Diane realised she had to get herself to baggage claim, through customs, and home.

She was alone again.

Blinking, Diane had to look twice at her carry-on before she knew what to do with it. Lean over, curl fingers, grip; she took a breath before standing up, straightening her posture. Her hiatus from the world was over. Back to real life.

It felt like moments later when Diane stood in the street, looking up at her house. She’d smiled and spoken automatically at customs and to the taxi driver, but she’d lapsed into silence, resisting his questions about where she’d been flying, had she been diverted, was she okay wherever she’d been? The answers were too complex, and she’d seen him glance at her wet cheeks and fall immediately into quiet of his own. When they stopped next, he passed her back a box of tissues and a chocolate bar from a bag in the front.

“Sorry,” he murmured when he dropped her off. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

She nodded, but it had taken a moment to realise how kind he had been. Had people always been that way? Had she just not noticed? Perhaps with everything that had happened, people were more mindful of each other. She didn’t have enough experience to judge.

Her apartment was exactly as she’d left it, and for a moment she stood in her entrance, staring at the floor. A huge piece of paper sat there, obviously having been slid under the door at some point. Her sister’s handwriting, the message short and to the point.

_Call me as soon as you get home. David’s here. S xxx_

She understood the words, of course, but the emotional energy it would take overwhelmed her. There would be questions, and love, and more questions. They would want to come over and see her, hear what it had been like in Gander, and all she could think about was Nick. His name pulsed within her, each heartbeat pointing out his absence. She couldn’t explain Gander without mentioning him, and yet it still felt too raw and private to explain. She didn’t know how to describe it to herself yet, let alone the two people in the world that would expect answers.

It could wait a little. Dropping her bags, Diane used her energy to make it to the sofa, curling in under her throw and closing her eyes. She didn’t know how she could even have generated more tears, and yet here she was, crying again into a cushion. Alone hadn’t always meant lonely, but already the quiet was unnerving. Gander had been about people everywhere – lines for food and bathrooms, the restlessness of a large room with many bodies trying to rest, streets full at all hours of the day and night. And then there was the plane and the airport.

And now it was just her.

Pressing her face into the cushion, Diane faced the truth that was rising through her excuses. It was Nick. The rest of the town could have been empty but for the two of them and she would still be mourning now. None of the other people had mattered to her in the same way. There had been times she’d consoled Carly, but most of her time – almost every breath she’d taken of clean Canadian air – had breathed the same name. Nick. The longer they had been there the more concentrated her focus until she had looked for him automatically at every turn. She flattered herself he’d done the same – there certainly hadn’t been any moments she’d thought he would rather be somewhere else, and there had been those moments on the last day…A groan of frustration at her own inability to communicate with him. And now that chance was over. Whether they phoned and emailed or not, the chance to talk in Gander was gone, their time together there only memories.

The stress and grief overwhelmed her, and Diane allowed it to rise in her, taking over her head until she existed only in heaving lungs and a cushion clutched to her chest. Blessedly it didn’t last long, the relief of sleep stealing over until she drifted away.


	2. Chapter 2

When she finally did call her sister, Diane was deliberately vague about when she’d arrived in town. It was late when she rang, the clock on the mantle telling her daylight was long gone, her nap on the sofa taking her well through twilight and into the night. It made it easier, feigning sleep, glossing over the details of Gander, speaking briefly to David and promising to come over the following day when she was properly awake. As she hung up the phone Diane sighed. For all she was looking forward to seeing her family – they were such a tiny group, and she’d missed them desperately – Nick was still in the front of her mind. She wondered if he would call while she was out – what was the time difference to London? She checked her travel book, calculating that the six hours’ time difference would make it more likely he’d call in her morning. Assuming he was home, of course. And that he wanted to speak to her.

She couldn’t keep thinking like this.

Sleep. Her body needed sleep, to get back to a normal routine. Pulling her notebook towards her, Diane made herself notes. Tomorrow she’d call her boss, find out when she could go back to work. She’d call David, have lunch or coffee, and also with her sister; she needed to find out what was happening in New York, and someone said there was something in Pennsylvania and at the Pentagon, but she still didn’t know. Not only that, she had no groceries and she was fairly sure her electricity bill was due while she’d been in Gander.

Back to real life.

But for now, one of the sleeping aid tablets the pharmacist had given her. Just to be sure her brain wouldn’t keep her awake with more thoughts and regrets about Nick.

+++

Something was loud, right beside her head. Diane groaned. It was her phone. Since when had they installed phones in the shelters, she thought hazily, fighting to pull out of sleep, one hand slapping at the noise.

No.

She was home.

“Hello,” she managed into the receiver. It was still dark outside, though she’d left the hall light on – the dark was too much for her after a week of people and constant lights. She worked her tongue around her mouth – it felt awful, like she’d forgotten to brush her teeth. Maybe she had.

“Diane?”

The voice was unmistakeable, and after a frozen moment, Diane scrambled to sit up, her head still woozy. Memories came back in slow motion. A sleeping tablet, an hour of restless tossing, and another pill; if it was still dark there was no wonder she was still under the effect.

But that was Nick.

“Nick,” she said flatly. She winced. “Sorry…sleeping tablets…” she felt her voice drift off again. “Sorry…”

“Oh!” he said. “I didn’t even think, I’m sorry. Shall I go?”

“No!” Diane said, the first spark coming into her voice. “Want to hear you.” She pulled herself as together as she could manage. “Home safe, then?”

“Yes,” Nick replied. “Hardly anyone flying out of Dallas, I got on the very next flight.”

“That’s good,” Diane said, hearing the lie fall flat, hoping it could be attributed to the drugs. Even now her tongue felt slow, her brain fuzzy. All she could think was _I miss you already_.

“Everything’s the same here,” Nick told her.

“Me too,” Diane said. She couldn’t think of anything else to say, her brain was too fuzzy. Had she told him about the tablets? “Sorry,” she murmured, “sleeping tablets…”

“Yes, you said,” Nick told her, and his voice was warm. “Shall I let you go, then? I could call again in…” she could hear him flicking through some papers. “If I call in…six hours? It will be morning for you.”

“Mmm,” Diane replied. She was slipping away, she could feel it. But Nick was going to call again, which was excellent… “Yes,” she managed with a huge effort. “Need to sleep now.”

“Of course,” she heard Nick say as she slid sideways, the receiver dropping from her hand. The buzz of the dial tone was the last thing her brain processed before the drugs took over and she fell asleep again.

+++

When she woke again, it was to the buzz of the dial tone in her ear. It didn’t seem important, but she hung up the phone anyway, stretching, yawning, and staring at the ceiling. Why was the phone off the hook? Had she talked to someone during the night? She had a vague recollection of Nick calling, but she couldn’t be sure if that was a dream or not. Maybe not, if the phone was off the hook. He was going to call her, but she had no idea when they’d spoken so it meant nothing. She could always call him, but if he was sleeping…

Rolling her eyes at how complicated this was already, Diane took herself to the bathroom, wincing at her hair and the makeup she had certainly not taken off the previous day. She had a shower, revelling in the familiar smell of her toiletries, then made her way downstairs in her own, clean, clothes. The answering machine showed her two missed calls – one from David, one from Nick. She knew which she was going to return first, even if it filled her with nerves.

“Hello?” Nick’s voice answered.

“Hi, it’s Diane,” she said, hearing herself tentative. “I’m sorry I missed you earlier.”

“That’s fine,” Nick said. “I assumed you were still sleeping, which was probably a good thing.”

“I don’t really remember our conversation,” Diane admitted. “I’m sorry, I was just in need of some decent sleep.”

“I know what you mean,” Nick replied. He hesitated then asked, “Was it strange? Sleeping at home?”

“Yes,” Diane said, relieved that he’d asked. “Too quiet.”

“Yes,” Nick said, and the relief in his voice was clear, too. “And empty.”

“And dark,” Diane added, the intimate detail easier to admit to when they were listing things. “I slept with the hall light on. Haven’t done that since David was a child.”

“Me too,” Nick admitted. “It was always light.”

“And someone was always snoring,” Diane added. “Maybe I need to get a roommate. Someone noisy.”

“And inconsiderate,” Nick added. “So you have to wait for the kitchen.”

“And the bathroom,” Diane added. “Not to mention listening to someone complain.”

They continued in that vein for a while, and it felt centring. As though there was someone who did understand her experience in Gander. The few things she’d said on the phone last night told her how important the shared experience was, and since neither David nor her sister had been there, it would always be an academic understanding for them both.

Finally, their conversation fell silent, and there was nothing to say for a moment. Or there was too much, but either way, Diane couldn’t find the right words.

“Are you at work?” Diane asked.

“My boss gave me a few days off,” Nick told her. “The conference has been rescheduled and they want me to go. I think they’re worried I’ll resign.”

“Rescheduled?” Diane asked. A flutter went through her stomach as she asked, “In Dallas?”

“No,” Nick replied. “They’re worried people won’t fly to the States. It’s in Belgium instead.”

“Oh,” Diane said. For a moment she’d hoped... “Well at least that’s closer.”

“Yes,” Nick replied. “What are you doing today?”

“Back to real life,” Diane said, trying for a light tone. “Bills, groceries, calling work, family stuff.”

“The holiday is over,” Nick joked.

“It is,” Diane said. There was another pause, and she said, “Well, I’d better go.”

“Of course,” Nick replied. “It was…good to talk to you.”

“You too,” Diane said. They both hung up, and she sank her head into her hands for half a dozen long shuddering breaths. She had to pull herself together, unless she wanted to explain this to her sister, and her son, and her few close friends who would not let this go. It had to glossed over, added like another detail of their time in Gander without attaching any more significance to it. If people knew, it would inevitably mean an avalanche of well-meaning advice and gentle chiding of people close to her, and she would not be able to bear it.

+++

It was a week before Diane called again. Nick hadn’t called her, and she didn’t want to appear too eager. Even though he was in her every waking moment. Even though she stopped to talk to him, looked for him as she went about her day. He did return her call that evening; she’d thought he would be home earlier than he was.

“Long day,” he explained. “Quite a lot of things have changed since it happened.”

“And we thought it would be the same,” she said with forced cheeriness.

Their conversation was functional; Diane felt like she was playing catch-up with his life. It felt wrong not to have been there for the things he was talking about. She didn’t know the people he was mentioning, the layout of his apartment, how he stood (sat?) while he spoke to her. They both danced carefully around what had happened to land them in Gander, and for the first time, Diane felt herself censoring what she was saying. A vague feeling that she was being disrespectful by enjoying something that had come out of such a terrible day permeated her thoughts, and it dropped her mood even further. The feeling was uncomfortable, and she knew she’d cut the conversation shorter than she’d have liked.

+++

The weeks that followed were awkward, and Diane knew she was withdrawing from her life in Dallas. She’d returned to work, but her heart was no longer in it. She didn’t shirk her responsibilities, but her smiles felt forced and she no longer felt the thrill she used to when a client was particularly pleased with her work. Instead she completed the tasks on her list, smiled automatically at her co-workers and returned home. She ate by rote, knowing she needed to, but nothing tasted right, and her apartment was still too big and too quiet to be truly comfortable. Friendships were sliding, she could feel it happening, but there were only so many versions of the same conversation she could have. Nobody really understood what happened in Gander, and she no longer expected them to, instead smiling tightly whenever someone supposed something. They’d stop and look expectantly, she’d vaguely agree that it must be true…and the conversation would go on without her.

A couple of friends checked in with her regularly, and she still saw David every week, but even that felt more perfunctory than it used to. He was blossoming, coming into his own at work with a wide circle of friends and a good head on his shoulders. He didn’t need her like he’d used to, and now that he had a place of his own, she didn’t see him every day. Her life was freer now; this recent trip was meant to be the beginning of her travels, but now all she wanted was to lie down and sleep, or return to that time in Gander.

Nick had emailed her after their first conversation, including some of the photos he’d taken in Gander. Sitting waiting for the images to load on that first email Diane had read and re-read his message as the sky gradually filled in, then the hills, the lookout…

And her.

She was in the centre of the only picture he’d sent her from the Dover Lookout, that last day before they’d left. She stared at it, wondering if he’d taken more or if that was the only one he had. Why would he want her in the middle of it? The new information sent her head spinning again. What did it mean? He could have had a gorgeous picture of the lookout, but instead he’d wanted a photo of her, leaning awkwardly against the railing, her smile uncertain. She remembered that moment, remembering her fervent wish for time to slow, or stop; it had seemed to race by that point, and she’d blinked and ended up in Dallas airport, saying goodbye without saying goodbye.

Her head told her Nick wanted to remember her. Well that was obvious enough, but her heart added that he wouldn’t want to remember if he didn’t care, and perhaps that meant he cared a whole lot more than she thought he might. And that, of course, meant that she’d messed it up, because he was now an ocean and half a continent away, instead of standing right in front of her.

It was the perfect excuse to call him; she actually had something to talk to him about, and it was about Gander…and she wanted to talk to him.

“Hello?” she said when the phone clicked.

“Diane?” Nick’s voice sounded tired, and with a gasp Diane checked the time. After eight here, which meant when she added six hours it was…horrendously late over there.

“Oh, no,” she said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t look at the time.” She winced. “I’ll let you get back to sleep, I’ll call again tomor-”

“No, no,” Nick said, and she could almost hear him blinking, half sitting up to speak to her. “I’m awake now. Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Diane said, relaxing a little. “I just received your email, and the photos…” she trailed off, her eyes lingering on the Dover Lookout photo again. She swallowed. “Thank you for sending them. I didn’t have my camera with me.”

“Not at all,” Nick replied.

Diane ignored her brain which was trying to supply images of him sitting up in bed as he spoke. “Do you have another picture from that lookout?” Diane asked, heart pounding a little. “The Dover Lookout.” She smiled, hoping it came through in her voice. “One without me smack bang in the middle of it.”

Nick was silent for a long moment. “I don’t,” he said carefully. “I only took a couple up there and the other one was blurry.”

“Oh, okay,” Diane replied, wondering what that mean, cursing herself for her cowardice. “I hope the rest of your pictures came out okay?” she asked.

“Mostly,” Nick said. “I’m not really a photographer.”

Diane nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see her, which dulled her excitement at speaking to Nick. “It’s a good photo,” she said anyway.

“It’s a keeper,” he said. “Not that I could forget that walk.”

“The last one,” Diane murmured.

“So many stairs,” Nick groaned, the smile in his voice painting a picture for her of his expression. Her heart ached.

“Amazing view,” Diane sighed. It was true, even though most of her memory from that day was based around her awareness of him, wondering if he felt the same. Did he remember the same as she did? When she was reading from the information board and he was practically reading over her shoulder? She could feel it now, the almost-not-quite of someone standing so close, the impulse to step back, bringing their bodies together, or turning, tilting her chin up so she could meet his mouth with her own…

“I couldn’t believe we were leaving,” Nick said. “It was surreal.”

“The whole time was surreal,” Diane agreed. They both stayed on the line for a few more minutes, each saying more and more nonsensical things before she sighed. “I should let you go back to sleep.”

“I can stay if you like,” Nick replied, but she could hear the slur of his tired voice.

“Get some sleep,” she said. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“It’s fine,” Nick said. “Nobody I’d rather be woken by.”

Diane smiled, startled to feel a tear run down her cheek. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he replied.

She didn’t put her phone down until the harsh buzz sounded in her ear. He was gone. How did she feel worse now? The photo had been a positive, something that made her smile, and there was that brief moment in the middle, as they reminisced about Gander…and now she was sad again. Not just sad. Despondent, hopeless, heartbroken. The synonyms rolled through her head as she clicked off her computer screen and made her way upstairs to bed. Maybe, if she was very lucky, she’d dream of Nick. Only after three hours staring at the ceiling, tears running into her hair, did Diane take the sleeping pills she’d taken with her to help with the jetlag. They always made her slower the following day, but right now she needed to escape reality. She could deal with tomorrow later.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days were difficult, and not just because of the lag from her medication. When she turned on her computer the next day, it was still running – she’d only turned off the monitor the previous day. Nick’s email was still up, and her own face stared back at her in the photo. Diane had blinked at it for a moment before pulling the cord from the wall. She’d driven to work, pulling over twice to breathe deeply, knowing her makeup would be a write off, but desperate for something to do today. Something to focus on. Concentrate, park in her space, repair her make up as best as she could. Eight hours and she could go home again.

Knowing she was avoiding speaking to Nick, Diane had replied to the email in kind, and they’d fallen into the habit of conversing that way. She was relieved in one respect and dismayed in another, but hearing his voice was difficult every time, and her days rolled by with a disheartening sameness. She never had enough resilience in her to call him; the task grew in her mind, becoming too big to tackle. His voice still sounded in her head, when she thought about a conversation they’d had in Gander, but a small part of her wondered if she was remembering accurately. It was getting further away, and she only heard him over a long distance telephone now, and only when he called her.

When Nick called she answered, reasoning it was easier than having his voice on her answering machine where she would torture herself listening to it over and over. He tended to call in her mornings, and she told him she was working afternoons and evenings now. It wasn’t entirely true at the time, but she was able to rearrange her working day surprisingly easily. It wasn’t as though she wanted to be home if Nick called, she rationalised it to herself. More of her clients wanted evening appointments, or dinner meetings; this was simply supply and demand. And if she happened to be home every morning, doing nothing too noisy so she could hear the phone if it rang, well…that was her business.

Of course, her sister and David noticed. David commented on how many more evenings she was working now; she couldn’t book in a meal with him until she’d checked her diary. She shrugged, giving him the supply and demand answer, but his slightly lifted eyebrow was sceptical. He didn’t push it, which meant she didn’t have to defer another question. But when they hugged goodbye in the middle of November, right before he was due to fly to Florida for work, he held on for longer than usual.

“Love you, Mom,” he said quietly.

“Love you too, Davey,” she told him.

He looked at her, a searching gaze and Diane held her breath as she wondered if he was going to say something else, but he held his tongue.

Clearly, thought, he’d spoken to his Aunt, who showed up the following morning bearing a pan of cinnamon rolls and the same determined look that had taken her to the under-11 regional cross country championship when they were children. Diane let her in, though she was achingly aware of the phone. As she exchanged pleasantries with her sister she tried to decide on a plan of action if it rang. She’d answer it, of course; but how to get rid of her sister? She couldn’t speak to Nick if she was here, her sister knew her too well, and avoiding talking about it was all that was keeping Diane sane right now, if that term could even still be applied. But it was helping her hold on, and she couldn’t risk her sister’s well intentioned meddling.

“Come on, Di,” Audrey said. “You’ve never met a cinnamon roll you don’t like!”

Diane blinked, looking at the pastry she’d systematically torn into tiny pieces without even realising. “Oh,” she said. “I’m not all that hungry, I guess.” She sipped at her coffee.

“David called me last night,” Audrey said, changing tacks.

Diane hummed in response, waiting. Her sister clearly had something she wanted to say. Might as well give her room to say it. Audrey studied her for a long time, and Diane was surprised when instead of launching some kind of attack, she sat forward and spoke quietly instead. “He asked me to keep an eye on you while he’s gone. He’s worried about you. We both are.”

“I’m fine,” Diane said. At her sister’s incredulous look, she simply sat. She’d found that was the most effective way to deal with the ‘concerned friend’ conversation.

“You’re different,” Audrey said.

“Yes,” Diane agreed. “I am.”

“But I don’t understand,” Audrey said earnestly. “What happened in Newfoundland?”

Diane looked at her, wondering if she should try and explain again. She sighed. “I’ve told you,” she said. “They were kind. Far kinder than they needed to be. And I didn’t know a soul when we landed, and I just,” she shrugged, now walking a fine line close to her secret truth, “was different. It wasn’t on purpose, but I could feel it.” She stopped, feeling a pang of guilt about how carefully she’d carved Nick out of the narrative. She’d mentioned him in passing, but nobody in Dallas really had any idea she’d made any particular friend, let alone whatever had happened with Nick up there.

“And what about Nick?” Audrey asked.

“What?” Diane asked, disconcerted. She frowned, reviewing what she’d just said, wondering if she’d let something slip.

“You’ve mentioned him a few times,” Audrey said.

“I mentioned a lot of people,” Diane said. She’d been careful to mention as many people as she could, hoping to fade Nick into the crowd of people she talked about from Gander.

“So he wasn’t more special than anyone else?” Audrey asked.

Diane steeled herself, and looked her sister in the eye, again sitting with her mouth shut.

“I have to ask, Di,” her sister said. “Because you’ve not been yourself since you got back.”

Diane shrugged again. “I told you, I’ve changed. This is myself now.”

She watched Audrey watching her, feeling a little guilty but reminding herself that she was a grown woman entitled to some privacy.

“Anyway, I’d better get ready for work,” Diane said, standing up. She threw her uneaten cinnamon roll in the bin, pressing the rest of the tray back onto her sister. “I won’t eat all these on my own,” she protested.

“Okay, okay,” Audrey said as she swung her bag onto her shoulder and rummaged for her keys. “But we’re not going away, Diane.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Diane replied. She waved, her fake smile in place until her sister’s car disappeared around the corner.

Finally. Some quiet.

Nick didn’t ring that morning, and by the start of December, they’d shared only half a dozen phone calls and as many emails. As the weeks wore on, the constant presence of what had happened was wearing on her. Her country was at war and though she didn’t go chasing it, the news permeated her awareness every day. Images of the events of ‘Nine Eleven’, as it was being called, were commonplace, and even waiting for coffee it was there, the images as familiar as her own face. Each image brought up a swirl of emotions. She remembered standing in Gander staring in horror at the televisions, the dread when she didn’t know if David was safe, seeing people around her panic and suffer in their own experiences. Gander itself was becoming more scrambled in her brain, guilt tainting her memories more and more with every passing day. Who was she to have good memories when so much of the world was in upheaval? It was creeping into her conversations with Nick, too. The silences were more sombre than they had been. It felt like a chasm growing between them, wider even than the Atlantic Ocean.

The first time she didn’t pick up his call, she cried as the phone rang, tears tracking down her cheeks as his voice came through her answering machine, tinny and tentative. She was overwhelmed already that day, having woken from a dream combining the worst of the 9/11 images in her brain. Her hands shook as she washed cool water over her clammy skin, hoping the coolness would help slow her racing heart. They didn’t stop her tears, the water cold against her hot cheeks. She felt shaky and fragile, and when the phone rang she knew she couldn’t talk to Nick. One word from him, one syllable of her name and she’d be blurting out truths she wasn’t ready to share.

By the time she did return his call, it was too awkward to explain what had happened, and if she was honest with herself, she was embarrassed by her reaction. It was almost Christmas, and they spoke briefly about sending cards back to Gander; Diane had already posted some and Nick was planning on it. Neither mentioned the state of the world, but it was there, hovering over them both.

“What will you do?” Diane asked.

“Ah, the same as every year,” Nick replied. “On call for work, probably watch the Doctor Who Christmas special.”

“Really?” Diane asked. “You don’t have any family to visit?”

“No,” Nick replied. “Only child, remember?”

“Yes,” Diane said, squashing the briefly flashback to that particular conversation. Their walk to one of the lookouts – she’d forgotten the name, but they’d talked about their families up there, overlooking the ocean. “I’ll join my sister and her family.”

“And David?” Nick asked.

“And David,” Diane replied, smiling.

When they’d hung up, Diane pulled her Christmas cards close, deliberately shutting off the critical part of her brain. She selected a card – something neutral, as far as Christmas cards went – and without thinking too much penned a message inside.

_Dear Nick,_

_Merry Christmas from Dallas. May Santa bring you all the toutons your heart desires. _

_Best wishes, Diane x_

She stared at it, the simple, silly message flowing from her pen without thinking – and what was the deal with the kiss after her name? No, she was sending it. Nick’s name and address, one of the international postage stamps she always had at this time of year, and it was done. Ready to post with the rest of tomorrow’s mail. Not thinking too much about what it might mean, or if Nick would send her one.

+++

Before she knew it, Diane was facing a wall of Easter chocolate at the market. Was it really that time of year already? The New Year had passed in quietly, just an email from Nick to mark the last day of the year.

_Happy New Year. Any resolutions this year?_

She’d been considering it all day, resolutely at home alone, ignoring her sister’s continued attempted to get her to come out for the evening, ignoring phone calls and even hiding behind the counter in her kitchen as Audrey pounded on the back door. Why would she want to celebrate the passing of time? It only took her further from Gander – and Nick.

At 11.50pm she found herself sitting in front of her computer, looking at the blinking cursor as though it might hold the answer. For some reason it was important she answer this before midnight hit, even though she knew Nick was already into the New Year. It was strange to think about that, and it hurt her head a little so she forgot about it, looking again to the clock. She had seven minutes to think of something.

What was something she really wanted?

Obvious.

Okay, what was something she really wanted that she could tell Nick about? Something he’d understand. She thought long and hard and finally, with two minutes to go, it came to her. A perfect answer that required no editing.

_I’m going back to Gander this year. That’s my resolution._

Now, at Easter, Diane wondered if there even were direct flights from Dallas. Probably not what she should be thinking about in the middle of a grocery store, but it was almost the end of March and she had done nothing about her resolution. She resolved to visit a travel agent soon and find out about it.

As serendipity would have it, an email from Nick was waiting for her when she arrived home.

_Have you seen this? I think a lot of people are planning on going back in September. I think the town will do a commemoration thing. You might want to look at the accommodation; I don’t think the school will be an option this time. :)_

_I was thinking of going. Let me know if you decide to go, it would be great to see you again in person._

And another, time stamped an hour or so later.

_I don’t know if you’ve noticed_

_Maybe it’s just me, but_

_I’d like to see you in person because this was much easier when I could see your face_

_I miss talking to you. I don’t know what happ_

Diane stared, her face flushing as she thought she realised what had happened. Nick had accidentally forwarded her a draft of something. From the abandoned beginnings of sentences, he was trying to shape something that wasn’t so easy to put into words.

Was it a follow on from her email? It certainly would make sense. The implications had her heart pound as she read the partial sentences again. Carefully, Diane clicked the first email, the intentional one, and replied to it. She would do as all grown-ups did and ignore the second, pretend it didn’t exist unless Nick mentioned it specifically. There was no way for them to have that conversation without a lot of unnecessary hand wringing and embarrassment.

_I’ll look into it and let you know._

Diane sent her reply without re-reading it, and she headed out immediately to see her travel agent. She had to explain where Gander was, physically pointing on a map before the woman could help her out, but eventually it was sorted. Flights (and there were two to get out to Gander) and accommodation booked and paid for.

“You’re lucky to get a motel room,” the woman told her, sliding all the paperwork into a folder. “From what I could gather there’s high demand this fall.”

Diane hummed in response and the woman went on, “I had to book you a double room, not that you need it but there was no other option.”

That’s fine,” Diane told her. She was hardly listening, wondering if she would in fact see Nick again in Gander. It seemed unlikely it would happen anywhere unless one of the travelled. Perhaps this was the best chance to put it behind her. See him, let things settle so she could go on with her life.

The very idea broke her heart, but she was convinced it was the right thing to do.

+++

By the time Diane replied to Nick, trying to figure out how to phrase what she wanted to say, not wanting to appear too eager, it was well into May. She’d needed to think about it, and leave at least a week…or two, or maybe four would be better…and it wasn’t until after David’s birthday she realised it had been so long. Making herself sit down and write to him one evening, Diane hit the keys hesitantly.

_Hi Nick,_

_I’ve booked my way to Gander in September. It would be great to see you if you decide to come too. I’ve booked into the Comfort Inn. Probably nicer beds that the school._

_Best,_

_Diane_

It sounded so carefully polite, she thought despairingly, but how would she put it into words, the confusion and uncertainty about seeing Nick again? Certainly not something she could easily articulate, and emails could be so easily misunderstood. The cursor blinked patiently at her, but she couldn’t find more words, so she added just one line and sent it on its way without another revision.

_I’d really like to see you again._

+++

On the plane, Diane’s heart was in her mouth. Three more months had brought only two phone calls and a few emails, mainly about what might be happening in Gander when they returned. Diane had printed the emails at work, and trying to wrest meaning from them on the plane helped to pass the time. From his words, she guessed Nick was eager to return to Gander. He specifically said he was looking forward to seeing her in person, a prospect that made her heart thud against her chest. She was wondering if she’d forgotten what he looked like, the memories more a feeling than a vision now. His eyes were clear in her mind, and the shape of his smile, but when she tried to picture him, it was fuzzy at best. She should have asked him for a photo, she’d berated herself more than once. He’d booked at the Comfort Inn as well, he said, his response coming quickly after her confirmation email. Either he wasn’t fussed to let her know he was eager, or the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, Diane thought, the two opposite ideas balancing frustratingly equal in her assessment.

+++

The first flight to Ottawa passed quickly enough, between reading the emails and gazing out the window. A short layover and she was on a much smaller plane heading out to Newfoundland. Diane found herself scanning the faces of the people around her, wondering if anyone had been stranded the previous year. Had they stayed at the Academy too? She didn’t see any familiar faces, but the flight was full, so it was likely at least some people were returnees like her.

As she settled in her seat, the woman next to her smiled and greeted her. “Good afternoon,” she said kindly. “I’m Rachel. Where are you coming from?”

“I’m Diane. Coming from Dallas,” Diane replied. “I was here last year.”

“Ah, you’re a come from away!” Rachel exclaimed.

“A what?” Diane repeated.

“You’re not from Newfoundland,” the woman explained, “you’ve come from away.” She shrugged. “You were on one of those planes, then?”

“I was,” Diane confirmed. “It’s strange heading there on purpose this time.”

Rachel laughed and patted her on the arm. “I’m sure it is. You’ll be staying in a proper motel this time, though, so it won’t be so bad.”

“So bad?” Diane repeated.

“Well, it must have been stressful, what with everything that was happening,” Rachel said. “I wasn’t there myself but my sister was and she said it was hardly an easy time.”

“The people were wonderful,” Diane said. She frowned. “I know I shouldn’t be glad for the circumstances, it was terrible, but the people in Gander were so kind. They worked so hard for us,” she could feel a lump swell in her throat.

“Where were you staying?” Rachel asked.

“Gander Academy,” Diane told her.

“Oh! You’d know my sister, Beulah,” Rachel exclaimed. “She was working there…still is, but now she’s teaching instead of making up cots.”

“I remember Beulah,” Diane said, smiling at the memory of the woman with endless energy. “Nothing was too much for her.”

“That’s Beulah,” Rachel affectionately. “A real caretaker.”

“Oh,” Diane breathed, as an old memory came to the surface, “I think I kissed a fish, maybe.”

“Oh yes,” Rachel said, “Beulah said there was a screech-in one night at the Legion.”

“…at the Legion,” Diane said in unison with her. She frowned a little. “Though I don’t remember it all that clearly.” She smiled self-consciously. “I was there with Nick, and we had two beers before the fish thing.”

“Nick?” Rachel asked. “Your husband?”

“Oh, no,” Diane said. She couldn’t believe they’d brought the conversation around to Nick. “I met Nick on the plane. He’s from England.”

“And you’re from Texas?” Rachel asked, pointing a finger at her.

“Yes,” Diane said.

Rachel’s eyes lit up, but she made an obvious effort to temper it. “How sure are you that you kissed the fish?” she asked.

Diane thought about it. “Not very,” she admitted, “but when I asked Nick said I did.”

“Did he?” Rachel said. Diane thought she looked like she was trying to decide if she should say something. “And have you seen Nick since last year?”

“We’ve talked a few times,” Diane said, pushing down the twinge of pain at the admission, “and some emails.”

“And is he coming out to Newfoundland this week?” Rachel asked.

“Yes,” Diane asked, “why all the questions?”

“Beulah told me,” Rachel said carefully, “that she heard the funniest part of the screech-in was two people everyone thought was a couple, but when they got up, she was from Texas and he was from England and they both swore they weren’t married. Nobody believed them, and when she refused to kiss the fish, Claude – he’s the mayor – told her she could kiss the fish or kiss the Englishman.”

Diane was listening, her heart in her mouth as she recognised the description of herself and Nick. The rest of Rachel’s words were almost unbelievable. She couldn’t remember it exactly, but it fit perfectly with the pieces she did have.

“And she kissed the Englishman,” Rachel concluded.

“I didn’t kiss the fish,” Diane whispered, realising it was true.

“I don’t think you did, duckie,” Rachel said. She was peering at Diane, and now she put one hand on her arm and asked, “Are you alright?”

“Why would he tell me I kissed the fish?” Diane asked, not really expecting an answer. And she was heading back to Gander right now, and Nick would be coming in that afternoon, and she was heading right back to where she’d been before they departed, only with a year’s more time to get anxious about what would happen – and now this.

“Maybe he thought it was the alcohol talking,” Rachel said hopefully. “If he wanted you to kiss him, but you couldn’t remember, he might have thought you’d be embarrassed if he told you.”

Diane blinked. “You really think so?”

Rachel tilted her head. “Tell me about Nick. What’s he like?”

Diane stumbled for a moment, but then she relaxed, feeling herself getting animated as she recalled stories and mannerisms that had made her smile. When she realised how long she’d been talking, Diane stopped herself, glancing at Rachel self-consciously.

“Honey,” Rachel said, sitting back with a self-satisfied smile, “you are so in love with him you can’t even see straight. Am I right?”

The words were delivered with such certainty Diane felt her mouth drop open. She looked at her seat mate, slowly running through the idea. It wasn’t…wrong, exactly…in fact, the more she thought about it the more it made sense to her. It explained the way she’d felt about leaving Nick, and her reluctance to start something with him, given their inevitable separation when they returned to their respective home cities. She was in love with him.

“Oh my God,” Diane whispered. “When did that happen?”


	4. Chapter 4

Before she knew it, Diane was standing in the foyer of the motel, smiling nervously. “Hello,” she said, “I’m Diane Gray. I’m checking in?”

“Good afternoon,” the woman at reception said. She confirmed the details of Diane’s booking, and gave her the room key. “It’s just you, is it?”

“Yes,” Diane replied. Another moment to highlight her solitude so far in Gander. Another difference since last time.

“I’ll get Colin out to help you with your bags,” the receptionist said.

“Oh no, I’m fine,” Diane replied immediately.

“I’ll get that for you,” someone said from behind her. She turned to see a familiar young man smiling at her. “Don’t I recognise you from last year?”

“Yes,” Diane said, smiling at him. The familiar face eased her discomfort a little. “Aren’t you Kevin…one of the Kevins?”

“Yes,” he said, his smile fading a little. “We were staying at the school too.” He gestured to her suitcase. “Did you want me to get that for you?”

“Sure, thanks,” Diane said. She thanked the receptionist again as Kevin picked up her suitcase and they walked slowly up the staircase.

Kevin said, “Kevin broke up with me, so it’s just me.”

“What do you mean, ‘just me’?” a voice came from behind them. Another young man jogged up and joined them. “I’m Bob,” he said, grinning at Diane. “Kevin and I have been working on something for the town, to say thanks for what they did last year. I was staying in Appleton, but I was on the same flight as Kevin here.”

“Well it’s lovely to see you again,” Diane said. “I guess we’ll see each other around town?”

“Tim Horton’s,” Kevin grinned. “It’s still the place to be, apparently.”

“It is,” she said. They stopped outside her room and Kevin put her suitcase down. “Thank you.”

“We’re just up the hall,” Kevin said. “See you later.”

The men grinned at her, then left her to get settled. She was still smiling at the easy chatter as she unlocked her room, surprised at how soon her mood had lifted. Her room was nice, she thought, leaving her suitcase on the bed. Better than a cot in a gymnasium. And of course, that reminded her of Nick and sent the butterflies off again through her stomach. She’d almost forgotten, so she picked up the phone to ring downstairs.

“It’s Diane Gray,” she said. “I’m expecting a friend, but he doesn’t have a mobile phone. Will you please let him know I’m here when he arrives? You can give him my room number.”

“Sure, hon, what’s his name?” the receptionist said.

“Nick Marson,” she said.

“Not a problem,” came the reply, and Diane hung up. She looked around the hotel room, smiling at the difference between this visit and the last already. Since she was planning to be here for a while, she unpacked, feeling much more settled with everything packed away. When she was done, she sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what to do. She could go for a walk, but if she was being honest, she wanted to be here when Nick arrived. The realisation that he was probably close – maybe even landed already – took her breath as well as her decision making ability.

Fortunately, it was taken out of her hands when the phone rang. It was the receptionist.

“Hello,” she said, sounding harried. “Nick Marson is here in reception. We’re just trying to straighten out a glitch with his reservation. If you’d like to come down he’s here.”

“Okay, thank you,” Diane said, her heart suddenly thundering out of her chest. With shaking fingers she combed out her hair a little, then picked up her key and started downstairs, breathing deeply and deliberately.

When she arrived, Nick was looking somewhere between cross and panicked, and the receptionist was on the phone again, simultaneously typing something and looking on the verge of tears. Diane paused for a second. How could she have thought she’d forget what he looked like, she thought, drinking him in. He looked exactly the same, and her heart swelled. It was so clear, standing here looking at him; she’d been right on the plane.

“Diane!” he exclaimed, face relaxing as he saw her.

Suddenly a little shy, she smiled at him. “Hello, Nick,” she replied.

He stepped across the foyer and they exchanged an awkward hug before she asked, “What’s going on?”

“They’ve lost my booking,” he said with a tense smile. “She’s trying to find another place but as you can imagine everything’s booked out.”

“Even the school?” Diane asked, then winced. “Sorry. Not a good time for a joke.”

“No, it’s fine,” Nick said. He lowered his voice. “At this rate I might be lucky to have anywhere to stay. She’s tried half a dozen other places already.”

Diane stared at him. “Really?”

He nodded, and Diane’s heart plummeted. She didn’t realise how much she’d been depending on seeing him regularly again. They’d only been back in the same room for less than two minutes and already the idea of him staying somewhere other than the Comfort Inn was uncomfortable. She ignored the irony and instead let her mouth take over.

“You could always room with me.”

The whole reception area – it was just the three of them – went silent as they all froze. Diane couldn’t believe she’d made the suggestion, Nick’s expression was somewhere between incredulity and relief, and the receptionist looked like someone had offered her a puppy for Christmas but might retract the offer at any moment.

Nick’s eyes searched hers, and Diane tried to appear nonchalant. Given her recent revelation on the plane it was more difficult than she anticipated and she was sure some of her nerves showed through.

“Really?” he asked, voice quiet, eyes on hers.

“It wouldn’t be the same if you were staying somewhere else,” she said, hoping the words conveyed her meaning without giving too much away. “Gotta keep up the tradition. Coffee and dessert, remember?”

Nick hesitated before smiling. “Coffee and dessert,” he agreed. His smile faded and he grew serious. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Diane said, though her tone was less certain than she’d have liked.

Nick took another beat to look at her before turning to the receptionist, trying desperately to look like she wasn’t eavesdropping on their conversation. “It turns out Diane’s happy to share,” he said. “So if I can have another key to that room, that solves both our problems doesn’t it?”

“It does,” she said brightly. “We’ll reverse your payment, Mr. Marson, and I’m so sorry for the mistake.”

“Not at all,” he said, and Diane had to suppress a smile. There was the typical Englishman again, she thought with a rush of affection. Barely a moment and she was more relaxed than she’d been in months. There was no pretending it wasn’t Nick’s presence that had affected her. Glancing at him, Diane lead the way up to the room. When they reached the door she fit her key in and pushed the door open, and that was when she realised something that hadn’t occurred to her until this very moment.

There was only one bed.

It was a big bed, but it was still only one bed.

“Oh,” she whispered. “I didn’t think…” she glanced at Nick. “I completely forgot, I was only in her a few moments before you arrived.” Nick looked confused, then embarrassed, but as she stumbled over an apology, he spoke over her.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Look, I’d say this folds out to a sofa bed.” He dropped his suitcase and flipped out the cushions, showing the mechanism below. “Perfect,” he said.

“Good,” Diane said, more relieved about Nick remaining than the convertible couch.

“Thanks for this,” Nick said, standing nervously beside the couch. “I’d hate to have ended up in some other town.”

“Me too,” Diane said, and even though both statements could have been meant generally, she wondered if Nick interpreted them as being about their proximity to each other instead.

“Anyway, now that we have that sorted,” Nick smiled at her, and his awkwardness fell away as his warm eyes locked on hers. “It’s marvellous to see you.”

“It’s…good to see you too,” Diane replied. Impulsively, she stepped forward and hugged him tight, hoping he wouldn’t pull away, relieved when his reactionary stiffness melted into reciprocation. They stood together for who knew how long, Diane wondering if she was ruining everything, and not caring at all right now. She couldn’t have stopped herself after so many months away from him. Holding Nick like this was the least of her fantasies, but it was the closest she’d gotten, and it was blissful. His arms were gentle around her back, and he was warm and solid and present. As they stood together their breathing synchronised until they were moving as one in many ways it was more intimate than if they’d been kissing, Diane thought, then immediately changed her train of thought. Kissing was not something she needed to be thinking about right now.

“So,” Nick said eventually. They eased apart, though Diane could still feel the echo of his body pressing against hers, “what do you want to do first?”

“Well,” Diane said, pulling her mind back to their conversation, “It’s almost time for dinner. We could walk down towards town and find somewhere that does authentic Newfoundland cuisine.”

“Not cod tongue,” Nick said, wrinkling his nose.

Diane grinned. “I was thinking more like toutons,” she said. “Remember those?”

“Do I,” he said, eyes lighting up. As she watched him, listening to his reminiscences about the deep fried desserts, Diane realised she’d let go of a ball of anxiety so big she didn’t know how she’d been carrying it around. Whether it was worry about she and Nick settling back into their banter, or how they would greet each other, or if she’d remember his face, it had melted away entirely as they hugged. Now she felt younger and freer, much like she had once she’d relaxed last year, drinking in Nick’s happiness at the prospect of indulging his sweet tooth again.

“Sorry,” he was saying as she tuned back in.

“You’ve really missed the toutons, huh?” Diane asked him with more affection than she’d anticipated.

“Very much,” he said, and she had the impression he was not talking about food. There was a beat there, a definite moment, but it wasn’t quite right, so Diane took his hand instead. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s find us some toutons!”

As they walked they talked, the words flowing between them as they never had in the past year. Whether it was seeing each other in person, or the fact that they were holding hands still, Diane felt them sink back into the easy camaraderie they’d had during the best parts of their experience last year. She was a little apprehensive about being here for the ceremony – it would be hard, she knew – but having this time with Nick was invaluable, and already she knew she’d done the right thing.

The town felt so familiar, even after a whole year away. Before long they were pointing out landmarks and reminding each other of the things that had happened the previous year. Being with Nick was as easy as breathing; they’d fallen into their rhythm from the previous year without any effort at all. Diane could feel herself opening up, becoming more playful as the words flowed between them. Nick seemed less guarded than last time, responding readily to Diane’s questions and speaking his mind more easily than Diane remembered he would.

“When you were on the plane here, did you start looking at people’s faces?” Diane asked as they were seated in the restaurant they’d chosen. “I kept wondering if I’d see someone I recognised.”

“No,” Nick said, as though the idea hadn’t occurred to him. “I wasn’t really thinking about other people, I suppose.”

Diane smiled, but she was wondering if he meant he was introspective or if he was thinking only of her. Come on, she told herself, exactly how narcissistic can you get, Diane? He obviously meant the former.

“So, cod tongue to start,” she said, smiling over at Nick. “Or was salt pork more your speed?”

“I may not even order a main,” he said, face bent to his menu. “I might just order two desserts.”

Diane felt her mouth drop open, and when he looked up at her, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, she couldn’t help but laugh. It was the most un-Nick thing to say, and it had genuinely surprised her. Much as he’d enjoyed the toutons, he’d never allow himself to indulge until he’d had something savoury first, a throwback to his childhood, he’d explained, where dessert only came after you’d finished your main meal. He really was more relaxed, different. It made her happy, somehow.

“You can if you want to,” Diane said, feeling the atmosphere around them grow warmer as they shared their joke. “I won’t tell anybody.”

“My secrets are safe with you, then,” Nick said. When they noticed the waitress, they were still smiling at each other, and Diane had the impression she’d had to speak more than once before they realised she was there.

“Sorry,” Diane said. Impulsively, she took Nick’s menu and said, “We’ll start with two orders of toutons, please.”

Nick’s eyes widened, and she raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to contradict her, but he saw it, closed his mouth and shook his head at her, grinning. When the waitress departed with their order, he leaned in. His voice, low and quiet and just for her, sent a thrill up her spine.

“Since you placed the order, I believe I’m allowed to eat them,” he said.

She grinned. “So I’m saving you from yourself, then?”

“Something like that,” he agreed.

They continued to talk and gently tease through their toutons and coffee, though Diane ordered decaf. “I’ll be up all night otherwise,” she told Nick.

“I’m three and a half hours ahead, so I’ll need the caffeine to stay awake,” Nick replied.

“Well I’m glad it’s the time difference and not me making you fall asleep,” Diane grinned at him.

“Can I get you anything else?” the waitress asked, clearing their plates.

Nick looked at Diane, raising his eyebrows as though to say, ‘your decision’. An idea came into her head, and she grinned at him.

“No thank you,” Diane said, “we’ll just have the check, thanks.”

“Sure thing,” came the reply, and the waitress left.

Nick frowned at Diane, but she said, “Trust me. I have a plan.” She grinned smugly, knowing he probably wouldn’t guess. When the waitress arrived Diane was too quick, grabbing the check and brushing off Nick’s protestations with, “You can pay for the next one,” as they stepped back outside.

“Well?” Nick asked, looking at her with amused expectation.

“Give me a minute,” she said, orienting herself. “Okay, this way.”

“Where are we going?” Nick asked, catching up as she strode off.

“You’ll see,” she replied, taking his hand again. It was so comfortable and reassuring, the physical contact helping prove this was reality and not another dream. “Trust me, second course will be as good as the first.”

When they stopped in front of Tim Horton’s, Diane spread her arms wide and said dramatically, “Ta-dah!”

Nick laughed, hands on hips. “I hope you’re not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting.”

“Well if you think I’m suggesting Timbits and honey crullers for dessert, you are absolutely correct,” Diane said as they entered. The woman behind the counter was familiar, and Diane thought she was probably the same server as last year.

“Hello,” Diane smiled at her.

“You’re back!” the woman exclaimed. Her nametag said ‘Crystal’, and Diane was now certain she’d been working there the previous year.

“We are,” Diane said. Nick raised a hand in greeting from the back of the store. “We’d like-”

Crystal cut her off, leaning in conspiratorially. “And you’re still together, that’s so lovely!”

Diane felt her face colour. “Ah, we’re not married,” she said, the familiar words coming again. It had been over a year since anyone thought she and Nick were married, and while it had been funny at the time, now it hurt more than she expected.

“Well no, but,” Crystal started, leaning in conspiratorially, “you’re together though, right?”

“We’ll have our order to go,” Diane said, her voice tightening. “A big box of Timbits and two honey crullers, please.”

Crystal looked confused but bagged up their order and processed the sale without comment. Diane gave her a strained smile before she and Nick walked outside. For some reason her good mood had evaporated and she was astonished to find herself close to tears.

“Are you alright?” Nick asked. Diane realised she was walking very fast without even looking at him. She slowed, blinking fast before turning to look at him, hoping her smile was convincing.

The look on his face said it wasn’t. He was alarmed, eyes searching for a clue. Diane realised he hadn’t heard most of her exchange with Crystal. How could she explain it? That the idea of people thinking they were married was now causing her pain, when this past year things had been so strained between them that she’d barely picked up the phone?


	5. Chapter 5

“I need a drink,” she muttered.

“A drink?” Nick repeated. He frowned. “You don’t drink.”

“No,” Diane replied, realising this could end up in conversation about the screech-in, that was another subject she wanted to avoid, “that’s exactly why I need a drink.”

Nick blinked at her. “I have no idea what happened in there,” he said, “but what can I do to help?”

She looked at him and wondered how she’d ever managed a whole year on the other side of the ocean. He was patient and considerate and she was realising from this evening alone, more open than last year. Far more likely to admit he didn’t know something, or ask a question. It was reassuring.

“I missed you,” Diane said suddenly, surprising herself. She stepped close, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, the Tim Horton’s bag still swinging from her hand. He enfolded her in his arms too, and it was everything she’d wanted for an entire year. She wondered if she’d forgotten what he smelled like or if this was his actual combination of personal products and personal scent – last year they’d been relying on other people’s clothes and toiletries so it was likely it wasn’t the same. But it was comforting, whatever it was, and she breathed him in. Every bit was exactly as she needed, and the tears wavered between calming down and ramping up at his calm acceptance that this was what he could do for her, even though he had no idea what had happened.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, easing back. “Sorry. Just…she brought up memories from last time. Wow,” she tried to laugh it off a bit, knowing he would see through it, “I didn’t think it would hit me that hard.”

Nick watched her, and Diane wondered if he would ask her what the memories were. He didn’t, instead taking the bag with one hand and her hand with his other.

“Where did you plan on eating these?” he asked.

“In Tim Horton’s,” she said, “until I spoke with Crystal, that is.”

“Right,” Nick said. “Well, should we head back to our hotel then?” He looked at her. “I may be running on caffeine fumes right now.”

“Sure,” Diane replied. She gestured to the bag. “I probably overbought a little there.”

He shrugged and squeezed her hand. “I don’t think such a thing is possible, is it?”

The silly comment made her smile, and they walked back largely in silence. Diane berated herself for changing their rhythm so much – they’d been having a good time, relearning their dynamic, but this wasn’t uncomfortable. She remembered the silences they’d shared as they wandered up and down lookouts around the town, and it was as much a part of their friendship as the chatter. It felt authentic, if she could use such a term.

When they arrived back in the motel, they walked back up the stairs to see someone at the vending machine at the end of the hall.

“I know,” one of the men was saying to the other, “but I can’t be bothered walking over there.”

“Neither can I,” said Kevin, “but I’m hungry.”

“Hi,” Diane said, as they approached Kevin and Bob. “How’s it going?”

“Hi,” Kevin said, raising his eyebrows at Nick and Diane’s joined hands. He looked at Diane, then Nick. “I’m Kevin. I recognise you from last year, don’t I?”

“Nick Marson,” Nick introduced himself. “Yes, we were at the Academy.”

“We?” Kevin asked. Bob had raised his eyebrows, too.

“Diane and I,” Nick clarified.

“Kevin and I ran into each other earlier,” Diane explained. “And this is Bob, he was on our flight too. He and Kevin are working on something mysterious for the town.”

Bob nodded, then asked delicately, “Is that a Tim Horton’s bag?”

Nick nodded, and Kevin’s eyes lit up. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know if you tell me you have Timbits in there,” he said.

Diane grinned. “We have Timbits in there.”

Both Bob and Kevin groaned at the idea. “Please, please say you’ll share,” Kevin said.

Diane looked up at Nick. He squeezed her hand and she grinned at him. “Do you think we have enough to share?” she asked.

“Lucky for you,” Nick said, addressing the men, “Diane overordered. So we could probably share.”

“Great!” Kevin said, and Bob grinned. “Your room or ours?”

“We probably have more space,” Bob said. “We’re a twin share.”

“Right,” Nick said, sharing a glance with Diane. It was clear these two thought they were together, and taking them all into their room with the one bed would do nothing to dissuaded them from the idea, but for some reason Diane didn’t mind this time. Perhaps it was because Nick knew this time and was clearly amused, or maybe it was Crystal’s gossipy attitude. Either way, they didn’t drop their hands as they followed Bob back to their room.

“Didn’t you have a boyfriend called Kevin too?” Nick was asking.

Diane squeezed his hand, answering for Kevin. “They broke up,” she said meaningfully, and fortunately Nick took the hint, instead asking, “What is it you and Bob are working on, then?”

They walked into Bob and Kevin’s room. “First, the donuts,” Kevin said, grinning. “I think this is the perfect moment to break into the minibar.”

Bob grinned, pulling local beers out of their fridge. “It’s not really a minibar,” he said. “We stocked it ourselves.” He waved at a bottle of Irish whiskey on the countertop. “Gotta have the authentic experience.”

“Bob stayed with the Mayor of Appleton,” Kevin explained. “They basically drank their way through the week.”

“We did,” Bob grinned. They all settled themselves around the room – Kevin and Bob on their beds, Nick and Diane at the chairs beside the coffee table, Timbits and drinks within reach of everyone.

“Cheers,” Kevin said, raising his glass. Bob had opted for a healthy measure of whiskey, and Nick and Diane each accepted a beer. Nick’s eyes were mischievous when he tapped his bottle to hers, and she knew he was remembering their previous conversation that evening about drinking.

“Oh God, these are just like I remember,” Kevin groaned, putting two timbits in his mouth at once. “So good,” he managed around the dough.

Diane grinned. “They’re Nick’s favourite too,” she said, looking over at him. He raised one to her, eating it far more sedately than Kevin. “So, tell us about this plan of yours.”

Kevin and Bob talked about the scholarship fund they’d set up, using the money they’d collected from their flight and afterwards to seed it. They were planning to present it to the Mayors of the towns that had hosted people at the ceremony on September eleventh.

“You’re the guy who passed the hat around,” Nick said. “I remember that.”

“Yeah,” Bob said. He shook his head. “I was so fearful when I arrived, but the people here were just so nice, and trusting…” he shook his head again. “It changed me, man. I didn’t even know people could be like that.”

Nick and Diane both nodded. Diane knew she’d changed, and it obviously resonated with Nick, too.

Kevin said to Bob, “Tell them about the grills.”

“The grills?” Diane asked, as Bob grinned at Kevin.

“So I’m staying at the Mayor of Appleton’s place,” Bob started, and as he explained how he’d been sent to collect barbeques from backyards, everyone was laughing. “I genuinely thought I was gonna be shot,” he said. “That’s what would have happened in my neighbourhood at home.”

The conversation drifted into reminiscences about their time here, and inevitably the screech-in came up.

“I was there for that!” Bob exclaimed. “A group of us came over to Gander for it.” He shuddered. “I still have nightmares about that fish.”

Diane smiled, but she could feel herself growing red. Any moment now, one of the others would…

“I think we were all there,” Kevin said. “Kevin – my ex – didn’t want to do it,” he pointed at Nick, “and if I remember right, she pulled you into it?”

“Yes, Diane volunteered us both,” Nick said. He put his beer bottle down. “Excuse me a moment.”

As soon as the bathroom door closed behind him, Diane shot up over to Kevin. “Do not mention the rest of that story,” she whispered, eyes darting to the door.

“What?” he said. “About you kissing him at the-”

“Shhh!” Diane hissed.

Kevin’s face was incredulous, a smile tugging at his mouth. “Diane, what the heck-”

“I’ll tell you later,” she said, glancing again at the bathroom door. “Please.”

She rushed back to her seat, and when Nick reappeared, the room was still silent. “What?” he said, looking around.

“Bob was just telling us how he tried to convince his dad to come up here this year,” Kevin lied smoothly. Diane’s heart eased as Bob took up the story, and Nick sat down again. The conversation drifted away into more sombre topics – how people from their respective homes had reacted when they’d tried to explain what Gander was like, how things had changed when they’d flown in the months since.

“It was awful,” Diane admitted. “I haven’t flown since last year, and it was so different today.”

“Kevin and I’ve flown back and forth a bit,” Bob said, “LA to New York, and I’m telling you, there’s nothing more scary than all the extra security.” He shuddered. “All that formality just makes me really nervous.” He turned to Nick. “What’s it like in England?”

“I fly a lot for work,” Nick said. “Security is more stringent over there, but I notice it much more in the US.”

“You’ve been back over here?” Diane asked, surprised.

“Yes,” Nick said, not quite meeting her eyes. “Just once. A meeting that simply had to be taken in person, apparently. I was barely in Dallas for half a day before I had to fly back.”

Diane stared at him. “You were in Dallas?”

“For a few hours,” Nick told her. Diane was aware that Kevin and Bob were watching their conversation, but she needed to know.

“When?” she asked.

“February,” Nick said. His eyes were apologetic, but she needed…she needed some space.

“I need some air,” she said, flashing a tight smile around the room.

“I’ll come with you,” Nick said immediately.

“No,” Diane said, “I’ll just be a minute.”

She stood and left, aware that it was mildly dramatic, but needing some space. She was reeling, and when she left their room she walked to the stairs and sat on the top, elbows on her knees.

Nick had been in Dallas and hadn’t told her. She had no idea what to do with that information. If he was telling the truth – and she didn’t think he’d lie to her – he wouldn’t have had much time to see her, but even if he’d had an hour…would she have seen him, though? She could barely get through a phone conversation with him, would she really have met him for a quick coffee one day if he’d said he was in town? She had no idea.

“Hey,” a voice said, and the American accent made it clear it wasn’t Nick.

She glanced up to see Kevin dropping to sit on the far side of the same step. “Hi,” she said. “Sorry, I just…”

“It’s fine,” Kevin said. He looked at her for a moment, before asking carefully, “Look, is everything okay? I mean, I have no idea what’s going on with you and Nick, but it looks complicated.”

“It is,” Diane said. A laugh burbled up, but it was more despairing than she’d planned. “Oh God, what am I doing here?”

“Are you and he…” Kevin trailed off, leaving her to finish the sentence.

“No,” she said, “We’re not anything.”

“Really,” Kevin said, raising his eyebrows, “because it looks like-”

“Yes, I know,” she said, dropping her head in her hands. “It’s so complicated.”

“Okay, then, tell me,” Kevin said, leaning back on his hands.

“What?” Diane said.

“Give me the…thirty second version,” Kevin said.

“Really,” Diane said, looking at him disbelievingly.

“Do you remember the first day we went walking together?” Kevin said suddenly, changing direction on her. Diane nodded, frowning. “And we got to that bar, and you said you weren’t going into a bar in the middle of the afternoon with three men you had just met?”

Diane nodded again, smiling.

“Well, I know we’re not quite ‘three men you’ve just met’,” Kevin said, “but you’ve just spent an hour sitting in a motel room drinking with three men on the other side of the continent from home.” He looked at her, eyebrows raised. “So I’d say you’ve changed a bit since last year. Come on, tell me what’s going on. From the sound of it you’re going to need a friend out here.”

Diane looked at him again, considering his words. He was right, this was a disaster and she needed advice. “Alright,” she said, running her palms down the side of her legs. “Nick and I called and emailed some when we got home, but it was…awful. The only reason we met was because this terrible thing happened, and it was so awkward…” she sighed. “So many things we didn’t say before we left.”

“Hang on, you weren’t together before you left?” Kevin asked in surprise.

“No,” Diane said defensively. “And we aren’t now.”

“You aren’t?” Kevin exclaimed. “You really mean you aren’t _anything_?”

“He told me there would be people here for the anniversary,” Diane continued, ignoring the look of incredulity on Kevin’s face. “So I booked, and I told him I was coming, and he booked at the same motel as me but when he got here they’d lost their booking so I offered him to share, but I’d forgotten there was only one bed but there’s a sofa bed.” She stopped, drawing breath and looking at Kevin.

“Go on,” he said with barely contained mirth.

She sighed. “We walked and talked all evening, and it was…amazing. Just like it had been, but he’s more open, less uptight than he had been.” She paused. “I think I am, too.”

“There’s still something there,” Kevin said.

“Yes,” Diane admitted.

“No, I’m telling you, I could see it a mile away,” Kevin told her. “Did you even know you were holding hands when we met in the hallway before?”

“Yes,” Diane said. “That’s what I mean, he’s more comfortable with me. With us,” she added, unsure if she was explaining it right. “We both are.”

“And what about the screech-in?” Kevin asked.

“Oh God,” Diane had forgotten about that. She took a deep breath. “I didn’t remember that I’d kissed him instead of the fish, so he told me I’d kissed the fish, but on the flight back today I sat next to a local who told me she’d heard the story about the Texan woman kissing the English guy instead of the fish.”

Kevin’s mouth was open, smiling and listening. “And you figured that was you.”

“Well who else would it be?” she asked him.

“You know that if a random woman on a plane told you about it, there’s a good chance someone will mention it in front of you both while you’re here?” Kevin asked.

“I know,” Diane said. “But I want it to be as far away as possible from right now.”

“But if you talk about that,” Kevin said carefully, “that might lead to talking about other things. The rest of,” he waved one hand around in the air, “all that.”

“I know,” Diane said quietly, “but what if –”

“No,” Kevin interrupted her, “you cannot live your lives by ‘what if’, Diane…what is your last name?”

“Gray,” she said automatically.

“Diane Gray,” Kevin finished his sentence. “And yes, it was a terrible thing that brought you together, but you could have the chance to build something beautiful out of it! Something that says ‘fuck you!’ to the people that did the awful thing and shows people that miracles still happen.”

She stared at him, amazed at his perspective on all this. “Maybe,” she allowed.

“Diane,” he started, but she stopped him.

“Look, I know, I just need time,” she said, wringing her hands.

“You’ve had a year,” Kevin said.

“A year when Nick was on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean,” she pointed out. “Except when he was in Dallas, apparently.”

“For one meeting,” Kevin said, “and then he turned around and flew home again. And probably called you.”

Diane stared at him again. “Shit,” she murmured.

“Yes,” Kevin said, “but not forever.”

She sighed. “Thank you,” she said. “I needed that.”

“Anytime,” he said. “We should get back in there.”

“Actually, I think I’m going to head to bed,” she said.

“Well you’d better collect the rest of your Tim Horton’s, because if you leave them in our room, we will eat them,” Kevin said matter-of-factly. “Plus your keys are in there. And your…roommate,” he said significantly. “Who you are clearly in love with, by the way.”

He was the second person that day to tell her she was in love with Nick. That wasn’t something she could ignore, especially when it felt so right and true inside her.

Diane stood up, not even trying to deny it. “Not a word,” she said, pointing one finger at his nose.

“If you haven’t said anything before September eleventh, I will,” Kevin said. “Deal?”

Diane’s heart pounded. “Before September twelfth,” she countered. “Gives me the whole day on September eleventh.”

“Deal,” Kevin said, and they shook on it.

“Alright,” Diane said, squaring her shoulders.

He opened the door ahead of her, and she ducked in, forcing herself to meet Nick’s eyes.

“Better?” he asked.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied, feeling a blush warm her cheeks. “Although I’m tired, I might turn in.”

“I’ll come with you,” Nick offered, but his eyes on Diane’s were asking permission.

She smiled at him. “Okay,” she said. They collected their things and said goodnight. Diane ignored the significant look Kevin gave her. She knew he’d be telling Bob every bit of their conversation, but decided she didn’t really care. Her main concern now was figuring out how to manage this deal she’d struck with Kevin.


	6. Chapter 6

“I’ll figure out the sofa bed while you use the bathroom, if you like,” Nick said.

Diane nodded, collecting her things and closing the door behind her. The room really was small, she thought to herself. Definitely intended for a couple, not a pair of roommates. She tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as she brushed her teeth, and thanked her conservative estimation of the temperature for packing proper pyjamas. When she was ready she opened the door, relieved to see Nick sitting on the edge of the unfolded sofa bed.

“Done,” he said, waving at it.

“Great,” she replied. She busied herself putting her things away while he rooted through his suitcase for something. “You can unpack if you want,” she said. “I’ve only used some of the drawers.”

“Thanks,” Nick said. “I might do that tomorrow.”

Diane settled herself in bed with her book, incredibly aware of Nick in the bathroom. This was the kind of intimacy you would share with close friends, yet it was somehow fine with Nick. Staying in the shelters had stripped back a lot of those social norms – there was neither space nor time for all that with seven hundred people staying in an elementary school. People saw each other at every stage of their day – no make-up, bed hair, pyjamas. This was different though – two people sharing a small hotel room was vastly different than that wide open room filled with strangers sleeping.

It was a completely different kind of intimacy.

As Nick opened the bathroom door Diane realised she hadn’t even opened her book, she’d been so lost in her thoughts. He made his way around the sofa bed and Diane tried not to stare (blue pyjamas, collar flicked up at the back, making her fingers itch to fix it), but gave up on her book. There was no way she was going to be able to concentrate on anything else with Nick in the room. Having stowed all his things, he pulled back the blankets and slid into the sofa bed.

“Did you want me to leave a light on?” he asked her.

“No,” she said, leaving her book on the bedside table as he flicked off the main light. There as a glow from their window, enough to make it to the bathroom without knocking themselves over, but not enough to keep them awake. Diane hoped, at least. “I slept with the light on for weeks after I got home,” she said into the darkness.

She didn’t expect a response but Nick’s voice came to her. “I remember.”

“You remember?” Diane said.

“The first time I called you,” he said. “You were asleep. Sleeping tablets, I think.”

“Yes,” Diane said. She remembered how heartbroken she’d been. “I left the hall light on.”

“When I called back, you told me,” Nick said.

“Yes,” Diane replied. “The darkness was strange.”

“And the quiet,” Nick agreed.

Diane smiled, burrowing into her pillow a little, remembering how comforting it had been to hear his voice, how sad she’d been that he was so far away…and now he was in the same room as her, the ghost of their conversation between them again. “I think I said I’d need a noisy roommate to help me get back to the real world.”

“You did,” Nick said. “I don’t think I snore, but I can do something else annoying if you like.”

“No thank you,” Diane said. “I’ve gotten used to being alone again.” She winced at the words, wishing they hadn’t slipped out – but the darkness invited confidences, and they were there now.

“If you’d rather I find somewhere else,” Nick began.

“No,” Diane said. “That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath. “I just meant, it’s been a year. Some things just went back to the way that they were.”

Nick was quiet for a while before he disagreed. “Not quite the same though, did you find?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I’d never minded being alone before. It’s different now.”

“Lonelier,” Nick suggested tentatively.

“Sometimes,” Diane said, in a tone that meant _always._

“Well if you need some space while we’re here, let me know,” Nick said. “I don’t want to crowd you.”

Diane’s heart ached at the consideration. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m…sorry about earlier.” She knew she was inviting a conversation she might not be ready for, but it felt important to say it. After so many months of not saying things, of convincing herself she needed to say them in person, and now she was here, she couldn’t hide behind the excuses anymore. “It wasn’t fair to expect you to make time to see me when you were on a business trip.”

Nick was silent for so long she wondered if he’d fallen asleep. Instead she heard him shifting, before he said, “What makes you think I wouldn’t have made time?”

Diane blinked into the darkness. She wished she could see his face, but it was easier to speak when he couldn’t see her and she supposed she couldn’t have everything. “I…you said you were only in Dallas for a few hours,” she said.

“Yes,” he replied. “At that stage I hadn’t heard from you in weeks. I didn’t know…I didn’t want to push things. If you weren’t sure you wanted to keep talking to me.” He huffed a laugh. “I didn’t want you to feel obliged to see me, just because I was in Dallas.”

Diane’s natural response was to deny it, but she bit it back, instead thinking about how she really would have reacted. “It would have been strange,” she said slowly. “Seeing you again. Things weren’t the same on the phone. Or by email.” She couldn’t believe they were actually talking about this; her heart was pounding and she knew she was breathing more shallowly in case Nick said something quiet that she missed.

“It was,” he said. “I was worried it might be like that here.”

“It’s different in person,” Diane said. She smiled. “I can see your face.”

“In the dark?” he said, confused. “Oh!” Diane laughed as he realised she meant generally in Gander rather than right in that moment.

“It is different,” Nick said. “I’m sorry, I know I’m not very good at conversation over the phone. And email,” he broke off, shuffling around again.

“No, it wasn’t you,” Diane said quickly. “I just didn’t know how to put things into words, and emails are so impersonal, you know?”

“Yes,” Nick said. “There’s a lot of scope for misunderstanding.”

“Yes,” Diane agreed. Hopefully they were clearing things up now – but where would it leave them in the future? She knew that part of the awkwardness was all the things left unsaid, but now wasn’t really the time to get into that unless she was prepared to actually say them.

“I’m so glad you came,” Nick said quietly. “To Gander.”

“Me too,” Diane replied.

She thought they might finish their conversation there, but Nick was turning over yet again, and she asked, “Are you alright?”

“Yes, fine,” he replied far too quickly.

“That sofa bed’s not very comfortable, is it?” Diane asked. Her heart stared beating faster before she realised what she was going to offer.

“It’s fine,” he replied.

“It is not,” she said. “I know I asked for a noisy roommate, but really.” She hoped the joke might ease what she was about to say next. “Come over here. There’s plenty of space.”

Nick froze, and she wasn’t even breathing – it was as close to dead silence as they’d had since the lights turned off. Before she could expire from lack of oxygen, Nick asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said. “Kevin reminded me of something today,” she said, listening. Nick wasn’t moving. Yet. “Do you remember when he and Kevin wanted us to all go into that bar together and I said I wasn’t going into a bar in the middle of the afternoon with three men I had just met?”

“Yes,” Nick replied. “They stayed and we left. I think they kind of hated me,” he remembered.

“They worked for an environmental energy company,” Diane reminded him. “And you work for an oil company.”

“Oh!” Nick said. “Is that really it?”

“Yes,” Diane said, grinning. “Kevin – this Kevin – couldn’t hate someone if he tried. He’s a sweetheart.”

“Okay,” Nick replied. “I’m not sure why you were telling me that.”

“It’s not about the Kevins,” she said. “It’s about the ‘not going into a bar’ thing.”

“Yes,” Nick said cautiously.

“Well, you’re not someone I’ve just met,” Diane said. “And I spent the evening sitting in a hotel room with three men, drinking and eating donuts, and now we’re sharing a room. So I don’t think it’s that big a step for you to come over here and sleep in a bed you will actually sleep in.”

She held her breath, wondering if he would come over now.

Something shifted, fabric against fabric, and she was holding her breath again, wondering if he would protest again or just…

The mattress dipped, and she could hear his fingers searching for the edge of the blanket. It pulled back, a wave of cooler air ducking underneath, and she shivered as he slid in, carefully staying on his side of the mattress. Neither spoke as they settled. His breathing was audible, and he let out a long sigh.

“It was that bad?” Diane asked.

“It was,” he admitted, and they were both giggling in the dark.

“Would you have told me?” she asked exasperatedly, a little giddy at the situation in which she had found herself.

“Probably not,” he admitted. “You may have noticed the huge welt across my back from the bar that pokes through, though.”

Diane giggled again. “Well, I’m glad this is more comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Nick said.

They fell into silence, and although Diane felt hyperaware of Nick being so close, she was drifting off to sleep too. Her last thought was, _Six nights. We’ll be here together for six nights._


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Diane woke early. The clock on the far wall said it was still before seven AM, and she was surprised at herself. She had no idea what time they’d gone to bed, but it was a few hours earlier in Dallas, and she would never wake this early. What had woken her?

Could be the unusual arrangement of limbs in the bed she was sharing with Nick, she thought to herself as she realised. They’d both gravitated towards the middle of the bed, and somehow she’d managed to wrap her arm around Nick’s torso. He didn’t seem to mind; his hand rested on her arm and his head was tilted towards her. She wondered if she should move – how awkward would this be, exactly? – but realised almost immediately Nick was already shifting. If it was earlier than 7am where she lived, it would be much later in London; he must be tired to sleep so soundly.

“Good morning,” Nick murmured, and Diane turned her head to see him startlingly close.

He wasn’t wearing his glasses, and she wondered if he could see her clearly without them.

“Good morning,” she replied. They both shifted, their embrace naturally breaking apart and Diane breathed an internal sigh of relief. No awkward conversation this morning, she hoped. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes thank you,” he said, grinning sleepily at her. He was adorable, she thought, before quashing the idea. Don’t let proximity make you do something foolish, she told herself.

“It must be late in London,” Diane said. She sat up, reaching for the water beside her bed. It was partly thirst and partly an excuse, she knew, but hopefully Nick wouldn’t analyse it too much.

“Yes,” Nick agreed. “I think I woke earlier, but I must have fallen back asleep.”

A reply hovered on Diane’s lips – _You must have been comfortable_ – before she realised the potential implications and instead smiled at him. “Breakfast?” she asked him.

“Nothing sweet,” he groaned. “And I need a shower before we go anywhere.”

“Sure,” Diane said. “Why don’t you go first this morning?”

“I’ll unpack after,” Nick said, sitting up, finding his glasses on the bedside table and climbing out of bed. “And if you’re sure I’m not a monster to sleep with I’ll pack away this too.” He pointed at the sofa bed.

“Of course,” Diane replied. “It was fine.” She watched as he started pulling clothes from his suitcase, wondering what he would wear. She’d only ever seen him in the shirt and jacket he’d been wearing on the plane or their donated clothes. Dark trousers and a blue shirt, she saw – conservative and very Nick.

“I won’t be long,” he assured her.

“Take your time,” she said with a smile.

They took turns in the bathroom, and before long, Diane was dressed and ready for the day. When she emerged from the bathroom, the room seemed much bigger. Nick’s suitcase was gone, probably stowed in the wardrobe, and the sofa bed was returned to its original position.

“Where would you like to eat?” Nick asked.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Diane said. She smiled at him. “We didn’t have to make decisions like this last time.”

“No,” Nick said, “but they also tried to feed us salt pork for every meal.”

“True,” Diane said, putting on her coat and picking up her bag. “I think there’s crullers left if you’re desperate for some sugar right now.”

Nick shuddered as he held the door for her. “I think my blood sugar spiked at a thousand yesterday,” he told her. “I’ll be looking for something savoury this morning I think.”

They made their way downstairs, stopping in reception for suggestions. The clerk – a different girl than from yesterday – obliged, then asked, “Are you folks here for the anniversary?”

“Yes,” they both answered at once.

“Were you here last year?” she asked.

“We were,” Nick replied, squeezing Diane’s hands.

“Did you meet here?” she asked, pulling a booklet out from a drawer. “Your accents are quite different.”

“I’m from Texas,” Diane explained.

“I’m British,” Nick said.

“Oh how lovely,” the girl sighed, smiling. “Well, here’s some information about what’s going on for the come from aways,” Nick looked confused but Diane squeezed his hand, “and some local information about things to see and do.”

“Thank you,” Diane said, collecting the papers with one hand and pulling Nick along with the other.

“Did she think…” Nick asked.

“Yes,” Diane replied. She looked at him. “I think it’s going to be a theme, to be honest.” She looked at him apprehensively.

“Right,” Nick said, blinking. “Well I suppose this doesn’t help,” he raised their joined hands.

“And she knows we’re sharing a room,” Diane added.

“True,” Nick replied. He didn’t seem too upset, Diane thought.

“So, should we correct her?” Diane asked.

Nick considered the question, then shrugged. “We can,” he said, “but if it’s going to keep happening, it might not be worth the effort.”

“Okay,” Diane said. Her pulse was thudding at the idea. They weren’t pretending, exactly – but they weren’t going to correct anyone, either.

“And what did she mean calling us,” he paused, “Come from aways?”

“It’s the local term for anyone not born here,” Diane said. “I think we were ‘plane people’ specifically, but anyone from somewhere else is a ‘come from away’.”

“Okay,” Nick said. “I can live with that.”

Diane smiled at him. “I think this is the place that she suggested,” she said, and they ducked into a small diner. Breakfast was excellent, and Diane was very aware of how comfortable she and Nick must appear. She knew her eyes rarely strayed from him, and he was equally attentive. From the looks their waitress was giving them she clearly thought they were a couple, and when they made to pay the tab, she’d penned a red heart over the top.

Diane stifled a giggle, adding their initials in the heart before Nick paid.

“How much did you tip her?”

Nick looked at Diane, waiting until the door had closed behind them to answer. “I have no idea.” He grinned helplessly. “I panicked. I left a green one – that’s twenty dollars – to cover the bill, and then I think a blue one for the tip?”

Diane snorted a laugh, grabbing his arm. “Our bill was nowhere near that much, did you even look?”

“I was too busy watching you deface our bill,” Nick retorted. “And then you stood up to leave, and…”

“And you panicked,” Diane grinned. “Well next time I’ll try to give you time to figure out the money.”

“Thank you,” Nick said. “Although it’s fine, I’m not paying for accommodation, remember?”

“Yes, I do,” Diane replied. “Does that mean the drinks are on you, then?”

“Yes,” he replied seriously. “You must allow me to pay.”

“Okay,” Diane said happily. She slid her hand into his as they started walking toward the aviation museum. Over breakfast they’d planned the places they’d liked to visit. Neither had mentioned the Dover Fault; it was admittedly a bit of a drive from Gander, and didn’t appear on the map, but it was on the suggested tourist attractions. Diane wondered if Nick remembered it as she did, or was it all in her head? Either way, the things they’d agreed on were in Gander, walking distance, and although it was cool, the weather was clear enough to make walking comfortable.

“I wonder if this is busy for Gander,” Diane asked. There seemed to be a lot of people around.

“I believe school holidays are still running,” Nick replied. “Until next week.”

“So we could have stayed in the school, then,” Diane said. “If it’s empty.”

“No thank you,” Nick replied. He looked around. “Since your comment yesterday I find myself looking at people’s faces now as though we bump into someone we recognise from last time.”

“You two!” The voice came from across the road, booming enough to stop Diane and Nick in their tracks. A figure was waving at them, and as they watched an older man hurried across the street to them. As he came closer Diane could see it was the Mayor (what was his name again?). The same one who’d run the screech-in.

A rush of adrenalin shot through her. Would this be the conversation when someone let slip that she’d kissed Nick – and they’d have to deal with it? Her heart was thumping as she tried to smile at the Mayor.

“The woman from Texas and the Englishman!” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “So glad to have you back!”

“Thank you,” Diane said. “I’m Diane.”

“Nick,” he said, and they shook hands.

“Claude Elliot,” he introduced himself, “still the Mayor here, can you believe it?”

“Thank you for everything,” Diane said. “I don’t know if we thanked you last time we were here. But we had to come back and just…” she shrugged, uncertain how to put it into words.

“There’s a lot of folk’ve come back,” Claude told her. “There’s a booklet, has all’o’what you needs to know about what’s happening on Wednesday.”

“We have one,” Diane replied to him. “We’ll be at the airport.”

“Right,” Claude said. He turned away, then turned back, “Oh! Are you married yet?”

“Not yet,” Nick replied, glancing at Diane with a smile.

“Well, if you want to be, come find me,” Claude said. “I can do that for you in a jiffy.”

“Thanks,” Diane said, and they watched him go on his way.

“Should we be keeping a tally?” Nick asked.

“Probably,” Diane said. She was so relieved that Claude hadn’t brought up any more of the screech-in than that initial misunderstanding – how fortunate that she and Nick had already talked about it.

A small part of her brain observed that if they talked about everything, she wouldn’t have to worry about it coming up in random conversations. She closed the door firmly on that idea. Because if they did talk, and they weren’t on the same page, it would mean disaster. Besides, she had until the end of Wednesday before Kevin would…Lord, there was no escape from this.

“So, the museum?” Nick asked.

“Yes,” Diane said, pulling herself back. She was going to enjoy this time with Nick. “Do you think they’ve added anything about what happened last year?” She grinned at him. “We could be famous!”

The museum was amazing, and Diane was right – there was a section about what had happened the previous year. The photos were incredible and Diane felt herself leaning close, examining the pictures of things she hadn’t seen at the time.

“Can you believe all those planes?” She shook her head, looking over at Nick as they walked down the street afterwards. “I mean, I knew there were a lot of people around, but I couldn’t picture how many it actually was.”

“I know,” Nick replied. “I couldn’t see much out of the windows when we were on our plane.”

“You were working when we were on our plane,” Diane pointed out. “Did you even look out the windows?”

“Of course I did,” he replied indignantly, and Diane grinned at him. He realised she was teasing and rolled his eyes.

“Well, I’m glad we went,” Diane said. “For all the walking we did last time I didn’t really learn much about the town and the airport.”

“There was the bus driver, remember?” Nick said. “He didn’t stop talking the whole drive.”

“Oh yes!” Diane remembered. “I wasn’t really listening, though.” She turned to him, excited as she remembered something else. “I do remember the moose, though.”

“Yes!” Nick replied, and his face lit up with excitement. Diane felt herself warm under his gaze. “It was enormous.”

“Much bigger than I thought…hey!” Diane stopped, looking at the building they were walking past. “Isn’t that the bar?”

“The bar?” Nick repeated. He stared at the dilapidated looking building. “Oh yes! Kevin and Kevin went in for a drink.”

“So that means it’s our turn,” Diane told him. “I could do with something to eat, if they have anything.”

Nick screwed up his face a little, but Diane tugged on his hand and he followed her towards what looked like a door. They blinked as the door opened into a darker interior, and Diane was still becoming accustomed to the light when she heard her name.

“Kevin?” she asked, blinking hard.

He materialised in front of her, grinning widely. “Hey!” He turned to shake Nick’s hand too, then welcomed them in. He and Bob were sitting talking to someone, and a waitress was leaning against his chair.

“This is Matty,” Kevin introduced them, “he’s the owner here, and his wife Brenda.” The couple greeted them warmly, but Diane couldn’t take her eyes off Brenda. She looked exactly like...

“What can I get you?” Brenda asked with a friendly smile.

“Ah, I’ll have a soda,” Diane said, glancing at Nick with a smile.

“A beer would be good,” Nick added. “And could we get something to eat, at all?”

“Sure hon,” Brenda said. “Burgers okay?”

“Great,” Diane replied, and they pulled up chairs to sit at the same table as Matty and Brenda disappeared to put together their order.

“Who does Brenda remind you of?” Diane whispered to Nick.

“Er, nobody,” Nick said. “Why?”

“You don’t think she looks like Crystal? From Tim Horton’s?” Diane asked.

“Not really,” Nick replied, frowning.

“Do you know if Brenda has a sister?” Diane asked Kevin and Bob, who were watching her exchange with Nick with amused looks on their faces.

“She mentioned it, I think,” Kevin said. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we were talking about it last year.”

“Diane thinks she looks like Crystal from Tim Horton’s,” Nick added.

Diane watched Kevin and Bob consider it, and she could tell they didn’t really agree. “Oh come on,” she said, grinning at them. “How can you not see that?”

“See what?” Brenda asked, returning with their drinks. The men all went silent, and Diane knew it was up to her to say something.

“We were just wondering…okay, _I_ was just wondering if you know Crystal from Tim Horton’s?” Diane asked tentatively. “You remind me of her so much.”

“Oh, yes,” Brenda said, shoving her hands into her apron pockets. “That’s my sister. She and her girlfriend wanted to move to the mainland but they couldn’t agree where.”

Diane had already turned to the men with a triumphant smile. They rolled their eyes good naturedly and toasted her with their drinks, but she met Nick’s eyes and for a moment they connected and sound receded a little around them. It was the beginning of a lovely afternoon. The burgers were good, and they talked easily with Matty and Brenda. Diane knew Nick wasn’t a naturally outgoing person, but he sat and listened to the conversation. She met his eyes often, and once their meal was finished she sneaked her hand onto his knee beneath the table. It was only moments before his hand reached to cover hers, and her heart fluttered when their fingers slid together.


	8. Chapter 8

As the afternoon wore on and the bar grew louder, she found herself gently squeezing his knee, glancing over to see how he was going. When his smile became less easy, she rolled her neck and winced. “I think I’m done,” she announced to their table. “I need to walk for a while.”

“Sure,” Kevin and Bob said. They were comfortably entrenched with Matty, and clearly not going anywhere soon. “We’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” Diane and Nick said.

Diane was grinning as they left, squinting into the brightness. Cloud had rolled in while they sat inside, and she shivered a little at the cooler air.

“So where shall we walk?” Nick asked.

“I don’t mind,” Diane said. “We don’t have to walk if you don’t want to.”

Nick frowned. “I thought you wanted to.”

“I thought you were done with the whole bar scene,” Diane said. “So let’s go and do something…”

“Quieter,” Nick said, wincing. “Thank you. It was very…”

“Loud?” Diane supplied, grinning. “It was.”

“Not really my scene,” Nick admitted. He smiled at her. “You had a good time, though,” he said, half questioning.

“I did,” Diane replied, considering her answer. “It’s not something I’d do every day,” she said. “But it was something different.”

“Something you didn’t do last time?” Nick asked.

“Maybe,” Diane allowed. “More that I don’t actually know anyone I would do that with at home.”

“Right,” Nick replied. “So where are we heading, then?”

“I don’t know,” Diane said. They walked for a few moments, before Diane spotted a sign. “There?” It was a walking track and for the first time since they’d arrived in town, it looked like they had the place to themselves. The crunch of gravel under her shoes was immediately loud, a new sensory input after they’d been walking on sealed roads. Diane felt it connect her to the surroundings, and she was suddenly more aware of the breeze and the smell of the trees around her. The warmth of Nick’s hand, steady in hers. She didn’t even notice anymore when they reached for each other, but it seemed to be their default state now.

Diane suppressed a smile as she made a mental note to ask Kevin if Matty and Brenda thought they were married. She couldn’t believe she was now smiling about that misunderstanding when yesterday morning it had upset her so much. The main difference, of course, was that Nick was in on the joke now. He wasn’t offended by the idea, or put off by it; indeed he was amused by it.

When they approached a bench, Nick steered them over, and they sat looking over the water. It was quiet and calm, the perfect antithesis to the noise in the bar. Diane could see how this would appeal to Nick anyway, but after their hours in the bar, she figured he needed to recharge his batteries. With a sigh, Nick sat back, and Diane could feel his spine slowly relax. Neither felt the need to speak, and after a while, Diane turned in to him, linking her other hand into the crook of his elbow. Her head was the perfect height to rest against his shoulder. It was remarkably peaceful.

“Today is September ninth,” Nick murmured. “A year ago I would never have thought I would be in Newfoundland.”

“Me either,” Diane said quietly. “I think I was in Paris. My last day there.”

“I was in London,” Nick replied. “We’d never even met.”

“No,” Diane replied. They sat quietly and looked over the water. “It’s strange to be here when it’s cloudy.”

“Yes,” Nick murmured.

“Apparently it was a clear day in New York that day,” Diane murmured. “All those people…they could have been us. On a plane diverted to somewhere they’d never heard of, instead of…” She swallowed, unable to finish the sentence.

Nick’s hand tightened on hers. “I know,” he said. “My granny used to say, ‘There but for the grace of God go I’.”

“My aunt said the same thing,” Diane replied. She sighed, the melancholy rolling gently through her veins as they talked about it. “Sometimes I just…I don’t understand. Why we ended up here, and they…didn’t.” A shaky breath. “It’s not fair.”

“No,” Nick replied. He loosened their hands, and Diane wondered what he was doing until his arm settled around her instead. She leaned into him, their free hands tangling between them. It was comfortable, and she made a conscious decision not to read anything into it. Their conversation had veered into emotional territory, and she suspected they both needed the comfort.

“But if something happened as terrible as that happened,” Nick murmured, “it’s nice to think something as wonderful as this happened, too.”

Diane thought about that. “Yes,” she said. “But so many people were killed. So many families affected.”

Nick tilted his head; she felt the angle change where his chin brushed her head. “Yes,” he said. “Nothing can change that.” He stopped, considering his words again. “Perhaps one day people will know what happened here, too. And it might…help.”

His words were carefully considered, and as Diane thought about them, they eased her discomfort a little.

“I hadn’t thought about that,” she said quietly. He was here, but not seeing his face made her braver somehow. “I don’t think many people understood what happened here. It was hard to explain.” She frowned, looking for the right words. “I think…because things were so tumultuous at home, they didn’t understand how any of this could be good. How anything good could have been happening at the same time.”

“Yes,” Nick said. “I found the same.”

“Guilty,” she blurted. “When my friends asked me about what it was like…I felt guilty saying it was good at all. I mean, some of it was bad, but…” she swallowed, “some of it was good. Really good.” She felt better for having said it, but Nick’s reaction was still something uncertain.

“Some was hard,” Nick acknowledged, and she heard him swallow too, “but some of it was the best experience of my life.” His free hand tightened over hers as he spoke and her heart was thumping at the contact.

They sat for a while longer until Diane felt something land gently on her face…and again…and again…

“Is it raining?” she asked, looking up.

“I think so,” Nick replied. He wrinkled his nose. “This is new.”

“We should head back,” Diane said as the few drops turned into a steadier drizzle. They stood up, hands sliding naturally together as they walked back. It felt cleansing somehow, after their short conversation. Another layer of her own insecurity stripped away, she mused. She never would have thought that she and Nick would gel again so closely, not after they’d drifted over the past year.

The rain was falling more heavily as they arrived back at the motel, and they ran the last few metres, panting as they made it under shelter.

“Well,” Nick said, smiling at her through speckled glasses, “back in one piece.”

“One soggy piece,” Diane said. In truth, her coat was damp but the rest of her was fine. “Your glasses are wet,” she said.

“Yes,” he agreed, peering through the glass. “I’ll have to clean them properly. Can’t see a thing otherwise.”

“Let’s do that,” Diane said.

When they arrived in their room, Nick found what he needed to clean his glasses and Diane took a moment in the bathroom. She was still emotional after their conversation by the water; she felt more fragile than she normally did. Was it because the anniversary was approaching? As much as she had some wonderful memories from her time here, they were also inextricably linked with some of the most stressful of her life. Thinking David might be on one of the planes, not being able to contact him, not knowing where they were or how they would be treated – all of those things were part of her Gander experience too, and they were closer to the surface now than they had been in almost a year.

She fixed her hair and makeup and used the facilities, buying time until she had to go and talk to Nick. It was as though their conversations already revealed layers of vulnerability, and she would be less able to hide from him now. But it still frightened her, the idea of revealing herself entirely to him, of stripping back the last of the protective layers. And if she started with this, would she be able to hold any of it in?

She couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever. Taking a deep breath, and then another one for luck, Diane emerged from the bathroom. Nick gave her a quick smile and took her place, and so she found herself sitting in the quiet room on the end of the bed with nothing to do but think about all that again. Her brain threw up a range of memories from that first part of the trip. The worry gripped her again, and she closed her eyes, breathing carefully.

She didn’t hear Nick come out of the bathroom, but the bed dipped beside her and his voice asked,

“Are you alright?”

“Just…remembering,” Diane told him. “Before we’d found a phone, and I didn’t know if David…” she trailed off, unable to even say the worst possible thoughts that had been running through her mind that day.

Nick sat quietly for a moment, then said, “You could call him.”

She stopped, then opened her eyes and looked at Nick. “What?”

He looked at her, his eyes steady and calm. “Call him. It’s only,” he checked his watch, “late afternoon in Dallas. He is in Dallas at the moment?”

“Yes,” Diane repeated. It was a brilliant idea. Why hadn’t she thought of it? “Thank you.”

“I’ll give you some space.”

“No, I’ll just be a minute,” Diane replied. She gripped his hand, needing him to know she wanted his support.

“Of course,” he replied, settling back on the end of the bed.

She shifted to the side of the bed near the phone, dialling David’s number and waiting impatiently for him to pick up.

“Hello?” his voice came through, and she felt the relief well up again as it had that morning in Gander when she’d slumped against the wall in relief.

“David,” she managed.

“Mom?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Arrived safe in Canada.”

“Good,” he said, though there was enough bewilderment there that she knew he’d heard the thickness in his voice. “Are you having a good time?”

“Yes,” Diane said, trying to smile. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” he said. “Nothing’s changed in two days.”

“Still, I’m your mother, I’m supposed to ask that annoyingly often,” she told him. Aware of Nick, she said, “Anyway I can’t talk, I just wanted to check in with you.”

“Well I’m fine,” he said. “Go and enjoy, alright?”

“Yes,” Diane said. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom,” he replied, and hung up.

She replaced the phone, took a deep breath, and turned to be embraced by Nick. He’d shifted closer, so as soon as she turned her face was pressed into his shoulder and his arms were around her. She’d reciprocated without thinking, and before she knew it sobs were shaking her body as the relief poured out of her. Finally, when she’d calmed down, she pulled back a little, wincing at the large wet patch on his shirt.

“Sorry,” she murmured. “I hope I didn’t ruin your shirt.”

“No,” Nick said. “I’ll just change though if we’re going out to eat.”

“We should eat something more nutritionally balanced than toutons and Timbits while we’re here,” Diane agreed. She smiled at him, aware she’d run her makeup and her face was probably blotchy. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he said, and meant it. After a moment he stood and went to select a new shirt, leaving her to fix her makeup.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” Diane said, disappearing into the bathroom to wipe runny mascara from under her eyes and do her best to repair the damage.

She emerged, noticing how the paler sky blue shirt matched Nick’s eyes perfectly, though she didn’t say anything. They decided on another recommended restaurant, this one a short walk in the other direction.

“Okay we need to promise each other we’ll order something with a vegetable,” Diane said. She was determined not to bring the mood down tonight.

Nick nodded. “Assuming they offer anything with a vegetable,” he said. “Kevin told us that story today about them being vegetarians.”

“Yes, they ended up eating from the kosher kitchen,” Diane replied. She shook her head. “Can you believe they just asked the rabbi what he needed, and it arrived?”

“I know,” Nick replied. “They could have told him bad luck, you’re eating what we’re making.”

“And that’s why it’s important,” Diane said quietly, as much for her own recognition of it as anything else. “Because they did so much more than they had to. For everyone.”

“Yes,” Nick said. “And it was completely random, that some people were in _those_ planes and some ended up here. But these people would have been equally kind whoever showed up.”

Diane nodded. They entered the restaurant and were seated across from each other in a booth. She still felt off, not quite herself. Much as she wanted to keep the jolly mood going, she felt quieter, and Nick had picked up on it because he wasn’t asking if she was okay, he was just quieter too.

They both ordered fish and chips and salad, Diane catching Nick’s eye when the waitress asked if they had a preference for the type of fish. When Diane ordered a soda, Nick copied her. “Not another beer?” she asked.

“Three beers in the middle of the day was almost more than I could bear,” Nick confessed. “But I could hardly say no when Matty was giving them to us on the house.”

“You absolutely could have said no,” Diane said to him, grinning a little. “You should get the server to bring you some water. You’re gonna need it.”

“You’re right,” Nick groaned. “Why did I do that? I never do that.”

“You’re a different person here,” Diane told him. “I feel it too, I’m a different person here. More open to trying new things.”

“Like going into a bar in the middle of the day?”

“Exactly that,” Diane agreed. She shuddered. “But I could not face a beer with lunch.”

“I won’t ever be able to again,” Nick said. Their server arrived and he asked for water. “I think some experiences need to stay here in Newfoundland.”

“Agreed,” Diane said. They lapsed into silence for a few moments and she concentrated on watching the bubbles in her soda cling to the side of the glass. She could feel herself becoming reflective, memories rising up to the surface that she’d forgotten.

“Remember how they played every single movie they had on the plane?” Diane said. “I can’t believe we still didn’t know what had happened then.” She frowned a little. “Do you even remember what the pilot told us when we landed?”

Nick considered the question. “No,” he said. “I just remember thinking I’d miss my conference if we had to stay long.” He laughed a little. “It was cancelled in the end. Not that it mattered, not compared to everything else.”

“Funny how it makes you reassess things,” Diane mused. “Changes a lot, really.”

“Yes,” Nick murmured. “But not all bad, remember.” His hand reached across the table, covering hers, and she raised her eyes to his, smiling a little at his gentle comfort. He really was remarkably considerate, she thought. Had he always been like that? She thought back, trying to compare the Nick from last year with this Nick. He was certainly more confident, she thought. More ready to speak, and to reach for her, especially this afternoon. Perhaps it was his shyness, or that they hadn’t known each other long last year. Or maybe her own willingness to be open was reflecting to him as well. Diane was aware of some of the changes in herself – her readiness to try new things, to accept the possibility of something being a positive experience even though her first reaction was ‘no’. There were probably others, though, and if Nick could see them, it might change him too.

They could be changing each other.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Nick said quietly.

Diane started, coming back to the restaurant. “Sorry,” she said, realising there were tears in her eyes. “Just thinking.” She laughed at herself a little, embarrassed at the sudden display. “Sorry, I’m really emotional this evening. I don’t think I’d really thought about this aspect of coming back here until we were here and talking about it.”

“It was an emotional time,” Nick said. “And it has been a strange trip already.”

“You can say that again,” Diane murmured, but Nick was smiling at her and she was smiling back, and it was a little better than before.

Their meals arrived, and they reluctantly let go of each other’s hands to eat, the conversation drifting into reminiscences about the food from last time. Stories they’d heard about people staying in private homes, about food being stored on the hockey rink, about the amount of coffee having to be trucked in to meet demand from so many extra adults in the town. It was soft and easy and undemanding, and soon, they were finished their meals, and Diane felt exhausted. She was warm and full and sitting across from Nick, who was looking at her with clear affection. What more could she want?

“You look as though you could sleep right here,” Nick said quietly.

“I think I could,” Diane agreed. “It’s been a big day.”

“It has,” Nick said. “I’m embarrassed to say that I think the drinks have caught up with me.” He smiled. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

They paid and left, walking the few blocks back to their motel. The rain had stopped, and the streetlights picked up the water still coating the road and sidewalks.

“Don’t tell me you were a big daytime drinker when you were young,” Diane said. It was dark and the air was cold on her skin after the warmth of the restaurant, but it was invigorating rather than chilling.

“No,” Nick agreed. “I can’t say I ever have been. Too busy studying and working, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t apologise,” Diane said, squeezing his hand. “You have an important job.”

“Not really,” he said. He sighed, and she was startled to hear him say, “I daresay the company will manage without me.”

“Are you considering retiring?” Diane asked him. She didn’t know exactly how old he was but surely he was too young for that?

“Not retiring,” Nick said. He glanced down at her. “But I have been making some discreet enquiries about leaving the company. Finding work somewhere else.” He shrugged with a casualness his tense shoulders did not support. “Might be time for a change.”

Diane nodded, wondering why that news had unsettled her so much. Was it that she had a fixed idea about Nick? His job was important, and she’d equated that with ‘important to him’. Perhaps she was wrong, though.

“Have you…who have you talked to about this?” she asked carefully. She knew he had some colleagues he was friendly with but otherwise mainly kept to himself.

“So far?” he asked. “Other than the people at other companies…I’m talking to you.”

She stared at him, slowing to a stop. “Nobody else?” she asked. For some reason it seemed incredibly sad that he hadn’t taken anyone else into his confidence. At the same time she felt a flush of pride that he would trust her with such an important decision.

“Nobody,” he said simply. “What do you think?”

“I think you should do what makes you happy,” she said. “Are you happy at work?”

He considered the question as they continued walking. “I am satisfied,” he said carefully. “I’m not sure I’d ever apply the word ‘happy’ to work.”

Diane nodded. “So why do you want to move, then?” she asked. She could feel him skirting around something, and she didn’t want to pry but it was possible he was waiting for the right question.

His answer was, as always, considered. “I’ve spoken to head office,” he said, “I asked for a transfer.” He shrugged. “Even with my doctor recommending I don’t travel as much with my heart condition, they were not obliging.”

“Right,” Diane answered. “And they’ll really not let you base yourself England?”

“My role has always involved a lot of travel,” he said. “And they don’t seem to care who does it as long as it’s done. I was invited to resign,” he explained when Diane raised one eyebrow questioning.

“I’m sorry,” Diane said. “That must have been difficult.” And with nobody to talk to about it, she thought. Impulsively – they were almost at their motel now – she slipped one arm around his waist in a brief hug.

“It made things less complicated,” Nick said, looking down at her in surprise and pleasure at the hug. “If they’re not prepared to compromise, it will be easier to leave.”

Diane nodded. She could feel there was more to this but Nick was still holding back and she didn’t want to push him. He’d tell her when he was ready. They made it up to their room and Diane was looking for their key but before they could enter, a rowdy pair of voices came drifting up from the street.

“Is that Kevin?” Nick asked, looking at her.

“And Bob,” Diane said, stepping over to the balcony to look.

Sure enough, the pair of them came stumbling around the corner, arms around each other, badly singing something Diane thought was vaguely familiar. Diane grinned at Nick, beckoning him over.

“Oh dear,” Nick said. He glanced at Diane. “Perhaps we should help them?”

“Might be a good idea,” Diane said as the drunk men staggered up the first step.

Kevin and Bob were predictably and drunkenly pleased to see them. It took ten minutes and a lot of shushing and encouragement, but Nick and Diane finally helped Kevin find his key, and they managed to deposit the men on their beds.

“Why don’t you let me finish this,” Nick said as Kevin fell off the bed trying to untie his shoelaces. “I won’t be long.”

“Okay,” Diane agreed, grinning. Bob gave a half-hearted wave from the bed, his face still squashed into a pillow. Diane went back to their room, grinning to herself at the mental image of Nick helping Kevin get even vaguely ready to sleep. She started on her own ablutions, finally taking off the make-up she’d had to repair several times that day between rain and tears. By the time she was settled in bed, the bathroom light on, her eyelids were heavy with fatigue. Nick had a key, and she hoped he’d forgive her for not waiting up for him.

Somewhere in the night, the mattress shifted beside her, and Diane sat upright, a crackle of alarm bolting through her. Her eyes flew open and she blinked into the dim light at Nick’s face, frozen in apology as he sat beside her.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “Took a while with Kevin and Bob.”

A breath of release, and Diane relaxed. She nodded, almost immediately dropping back toward sleep. Her head hit the pillow, and someone adjusted the blankets around her shoulders.

“Good night, Nick,” she murmured.

He shifted again, getting comfortable, and she reached for him, too tired to hide the need for touch. When his hand found hers she sighed contentedly. The last thing she remembered was something brushing the hair back from her face, but that must have been dream.


	9. Chapter 9

The morning of September tenth was a strange one. Diane woke at some point, eyes too bleary to read the clock; but it was still dark outside, and she was warm in bed wrapped up in Nick’s arms, so she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep. A while later – she didn’t know how long – she was woken by someone carefully extracting themselves from the tangle they’d created. A whimper escaped as cold air sneaked under the blankets and Nick vanished. She reached out but the sheets were both warm and empty.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered, and she felt a smile reflexively cross her face.

She must have drifted off again because the next thing she knew he was sliding in again, body slightly cooler as he hesitated with space still between them. She reached for his hand, drawing it around her, and when he moved closer his breath was unsteady across her neck. He was awkwardly uncomfortable, she could feel it, but he slowly relaxed, and she drifted away once again.

The next time she woke it was a long slow rise to the surface. Small shifts in Nick, the cool air on her face, a noise from outside, the light across her eyes; they all contributed to pulling her back into consciousness. This time she assessed where she was before opening her eyes. Still in bed, that was obvious, and Nick was there – her breath caught and she hastened to smooth it out again as she realised he was probably asleep, his body leaning against hers, arm heavy around her waist. She wondered if he would be embarrassed to wake up like this. It felt far more intimate than yesterday, and though he’d appeared to be fine then, yesterday had been an intense day in a lot of ways. They’d talked about a lot of things, and Diane now found herself considering how her thinking had changed.

The idea of talking to Nick about how she’d felt in the past year had been frightening before she arrived here, but as the conversations developed across the day, each small fear had been eased. Diane was surprised to realise how similar Nick’s experience was to her own in that time. It made her feel much better, much less alone, and highlighted how similar they really were. It was surprising in a lot of ways.

And Nick was considering leaving his job. Diane thought that might be the biggest surprise of all. He’d talked about his job as though it was the only thing in the world last time they were here, and she had the distinct impression it was the biggest thing in his life. She’d built an image of a socially awkward but kind hearted man who was confident in his professional knowledge. No family or close friends, but his work seemed to satisfy him. Now, though…

What had he said? _Might be time for a change…I asked for a transfer._ She hadn’t asked him about it, figuring he would have told her if he wanted to share, but she wondered where he meant. Somewhere warmer? London had been lovely when she was there but she knew it could be bitterly cold in the winter. And if he didn’t want to travel as much, perhaps he’d rather be somewhere more temperate.

Unasked, her brain provided her with a chunk of knowledge she’d forgotten.

_His company has an office in Dallas._

She blinked, then tried to dismiss the notion, but it was disturbingly tenacious. He’d asked for a transfer, and they had an office in Dallas. Dallas was warmer than London, not that she had any idea if that it was a factor for him. Her heart beat a little faster and she shifted restlessly, considering how she would feel if he moved to Dallas. It was too confusing, so she put the idea firmly in the box with the other fantasies she knew wouldn’t come true.

“Diane,” Nick’s voice came from behind her, the low rumble shuddering through her torso. It sounded as though he was still asleep, but she froze anyway. He shifted, and Diane felt his face press into her shoulder; she closed her eyes, sparks flying through her blood at the intimate contact. Was he still sleeping? Dreaming of her even?

Carefully, Diane shifted, rolling a little to create a space between them without waking Nick entirely. He rolled too, partway onto his stomach as she landed on her back, her eyes on his face in case the movement woke him. He was obviously deeply asleep, and she took the moment to study his face. It was different without his glasses, the customary frown he sometimes wore smoothed out, his eyes hidden.

Gently, she eased away a little more, the need to visit the bathroom pressing more heavily. Nick frowned, tucking his hand under his cheek, pulling his arm in close as though cold. Diane tucked the blanket around him before turning to the bathroom. She was only gone a few moments but when she returned Nick was sitting up, glasses on his nose, blankets pulled high.

“Good morning,” he greeted her as she emerged.

“Good morning,” she replied. She was cold, now; they should have turned on the heating last night. Wrapping her arms around herself, she wondered if it would be weird to get back into bed now that they were both away.

“You look cold,” Nick said, and with a small grin he flicked her side of the blankets up.

She hesitated a moment then climbed in, sliding down a little and pulling them up to her chin. “Why didn’t we put the heating on last night?” she asked him, begging the blankets to warm up faster.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking down at her. “You were asleep when I came in.”

“Yes,” Diane said. “Big day.”

“It was,” he agreed.

“How were Kevin and Bob when you left?” Diane asked.

“Asleep,” Nick said. “Bob passed out but Kevin was a bit more of a handful. I finally convinced him to get into bed, though.” He grinned. “I confiscated their car keys. He kept talking about going to get donuts and I didn’t want him getting any ideas.”

“Good idea,” Diane said. “Another thing you’ll be happy to leave in Newfoundland?”

“Putting drunk people to bed?” Nick asked. “Yes, that is not something I’ll be taking home with me.”

“We should go and get them coffee and donuts. And return their car keys,” Diane said. A rogue shiver ran down her spine. “Later, though.”

“Don’t we still have some from Tim Horton’s?” Nick asked. “And there’s a coffeepot in reception.” He grinned at her. “Serves them right, really.”

“Yuck,” Diane said, shuddering at the thought of stale donuts and bad coffee. “Although from what I’ve heard, the drunker you were the night before, the better the stale breakfast in the morning.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Nick said with an exaggeratedly superior tone, and they giggled together for a moment.

“Were they at the bar all day?” Diane asked.

“I think so,” Nick said. “Kevin was talking about all sorts of stuff…but I think he and Matty became friends last time.” He shrugged.

“Well, as long as they had a good time,” Diane murmured.

“Apparently Matty was talking about having another screech-in tonight,” Nick said. “For anyone who didn’t get to do it last time.”

Diane nodded. The conversation was getting perilously close to something she didn’t really want to talk about – and yet she felt calm, too. They’d navigated several topics she was worried about so far, and things had turned out alright. If the screech-in was coming up now, she’d just go with it. Being here with Nick – lying in bed together, for goodness sake – somehow made her braver.

Before she could say something, Nick added, “Kevin was pretty adamant we should all go. What do you think?”

“Sure,” Diane replied, cursing her openness to the obviously enthusiastic matchmaker. “What else did you want to do today?”

“Well it’s pretty late already,” Nick said, looking over at the clock. “By the time we get going it might be lunchtime. Especially if you really do want to get donuts and coffee for Kevin and Bob.”

“Well,” Diane said, adopting a beatific smile, “if we’re at Tim Horton’s anyway, then _we_ can get coffee and donuts too.”

“No more Timbits,” Nick groaned.

“I think it was the combination of toutons and Timbits that was the problem,” Diane teased him.

“Yes,” Nick said, “You’re probably right.” He grinned at her. “Well I’m going to have a shower, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Diane said, shunting the idea of Nick in the shower firmly to the side. She snuggled further down the bed. “I’ll just stay here where it’s warm.” She grinned at him as he slid out, groaning as the cool air hit her skin. He turned on the heating, smiling back at her before taking clean clothes into the bathroom and closing the door.

She must have drifted back off again, because a moment later Nick was hovering over her, an indulgent smile on his face. “Are you awake?” he asked.

She blinked up at him. He smelled good, she thought dimly, and his hair was damp, curling a little behind his ears. Her fingers itched to trace the shape, and the freshly shaved jawline. Smiling, she reached one finger up, swiping at the little shaving foam he’d left behind the curve of his jaw.

“Missed a bit,” she murmured, showing him the white comma on her finger.

“Thank you,” he said, eyes wide and locked on hers.

There was a definite moment, she thought, when neither moved and the air swirled with possibilities – but she was lying in bed and he was clean and dressed…and evidently hungry if the noise from his stomach was anything to go by. He grinned ruefully and the moment passed.

“I won’t be long,” Diane said, smiling at him before scooting out the far side of the bed. He nodded, picking up his socks as she selected clothes at random. Her shower was perfunctory, her mind distracted enough that she either washed her hair twice or not at all. Either way, she ended up cleaner than she started, and dressed and made up. Checking her appearance one last time, she had to admit this day felt different yet again. Already, her specific memories of the early morning were fading, left with a vague sense of comfort and security all bound up with an overwhelming _Nick._ But there had been that moment after his shower and before hers, and now she had butterflies about stepping out and seeing him.

“I’m ready,” she said. He’d opened the curtains to reveal an overcast day, fog hanging low over the treetops. “Actually, I’ll just add another layer.”

“Good idea,” Nick said. “I went outside to check and it’s freezing.”

“I should have brought gloves,” Diane said, digging out her scarf. She added it and a cardigan before her coat and hat.

“I’m sure we can buy some somewhere,” Nick told her.

“Shoppers?” Diane asked, grinning at him.

“Where else?” he said.

“But first, donuts,” Diane declared. “Let’s see if the others up. They might want something else.”

The groans from behind the door were pathetic, but Diane knocked doggedly until someone answered. It was Kevin, wrapped in a blanket and staring at them blearily.

“Good morning!” Diane said deliberately cheery. “We’re going to get coffee. How’d you take it?”

“Black and strong,” Kevin said immediately, “You absolute angels.”

“Me too,” came a croak from inside, and Diane grinned at Nick.

“Okay, we’ll be back soon,” Diane said.

“Bring Timbits!” Kevin added as they turned away.

“Of course,” Diane said. She smiled again at Nick as they held hands down the stairs.

“You’re in a good mood this morning,” Nick ventured.

“Yes,” Diane said considering. “I think I needed last night. And yesterday. All the conversations we had, really.” She squeezed his hand. Honesty was somehow much easier today. She didn’t feel the hesitation about how Nick might react, or how she might be vulnerable if she was honest with him. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Yesterday. What you said at the water, and at dinner. Made me feel better about some things.”

“Good,” Nick said, and she could see the same emotion she’d felt last night – not complete understanding, but enough to be getting on with and an acceptance that more would be forthcoming when the time was right. “Now, are you actually going to eat the honey crullers this time or have we started a collection for our room?”

Diane swatted at his arm, smiling affectionately as they walked into Tim Horton’s.

“G’morning, you two!” came a voice, and this time Diane grinned broadly at Claude. He was sitting at the table with a few other men, a Pepsi in front of him.

“Morning Claude,” she said, and smiled at the other men.

“This’s the Texan and the Englishman I was telling you about,” Claude told the others. “Diane and Nick. They were here last year.”

“Welcome back to Gander,” the taller of the two said.

“Thank you,” Diane said. She glanced up at Nick, who was looking at the man with a vaguely stunned expression on his face. She rolled her eyes and said to them, “He hasn’t had his coffee yet.”

“What?” Nick said as she pulled him towards the counter. The men chuckled to themselves and she could hear them talking as they approached Crystal.

“Good morning,” Diane said. Before the other woman could speak, she said, “I’m sorry I was so rude to you the other day, I was so jet lagged and,” she shrugged, “that was not your fault.”

“Oh,” Crystal smiled, “that’s fine. What can I get you?”

Diane ordered their coffees and donuts, and made small talk with Crystal while Nick kept looking back at the table they’d left earlier. When it was ready Diane paid, gave Nick the tray with the coffees and picked up the donuts.

“Thanks, Crystal,” she said.

“Anytime,” Crystal replied.

Diane elbowed Nick – they couldn’t hold hands and carry the breakfasts – and they finally started back towards the motel.

“What happened in there?” Diane asked him.

“That man sitting with Claude,” Nick started.

“Yes,” Diane replied.

“You don’t think he looks…” Nick hesitated. “Like me?”

“Like you?” Diane repeated. She thought back. They were both tall, certainly, and their shirts were vaguely the same colour, but otherwise… “No,” she said. “Not at all.”

“Really?” Nick asked. He frowned. “It was uncanny.”

Diane shrugged. “Maybe he’s your brother,” she grinned at him. “You know, like Brenda and Crystal.”

He shot her a look, and she grinned. “Besides,” she said, “You’re wearing glasses. Totally different.”

When they knocked on Kevin and Bob’s door, Diane was surprised to see Kevin answer looking somewhat human.

“I thought you’d have gone back to bed,” she said.

“Coffee,” he replied, taking the cup Nick offered. He groaned at the first sip. “You two really are angels,” he said.

“Seconded,” Bob said. He was sitting up in bed, clearly less chipper than Kevin.

“I had a shower,” Kevin said. “Woke me up, but coffee and…oh, you got Timbits, thank God.”

“Thank Diane,” Nick said, smiling at her. “It was her idea.”

“Well, Nick told me how much fun it was getting you two into bed last night,” Diane said, “so I thought you’d need a hand to get going today.”

“Not Bob,” Nick said, sitting in one of the chairs at the table. “This guy,” he pointed at Kevin, “was a little more excitable.”

Diane grinned, pulling the second chair closer to Nick before sitting down. Nick handed over her coffee, and she smiled at him, their fingers brushing on the paper.

“I have no idea how we got home,” Kevin said. He sat on the edge of Bob’s bed, the open box of donuts between them.

“You walked,” Diane said.

“And sang,” Nick added, dropping Kevin’s keys on the table. “I had to confiscate your keys. Thought you might try to take yourself off to get your own Timbits.” He grinned at Diane again, and she returned it. There was a lot more affection between them today; it was much closer to the surface in Nick and she knew it was in her as well. What a relief not to have to suppress it, she thought happily.

“Oh yes, there was singing,” Diane agreed. She grinned as Kevin and Bob looked at each other, alarmed.

“Apparently there’s a party at the bar tonight,” Diane said brightly. “Can I assume we’ll see you there?”

“Yeah,” Bob said immediately through a Timbit.

“Really?” Diane couldn’t help saying.

“Sure,” Bob replied. “Coffee, sugar,” he popped another Timbit in his mouth, “and I’ll be good to go in an hour.”

“I’m not sure it’s starting quite so early,” Nick said. He looked at his watch. “It’s only lunchtime.”

Bob shrugged. “That’s when we started yesterday.”

Diane shook her head, looking over at Nick, who looked as amused and surprised as she was.

“What else are you going to do today?” Bob asked.

“Don’t know yet,” Diane said. “We slept late too.” She ignored the significant look Kevin and Bob exchanged, and was glad Nick seemed to miss it.

“We have a booklet somewhere,” Nick said. “Tourist things to do.”

“And we have to go to Shoppers,” Diane added. “I need a pair of gloves.”

They made more conversation for a few moments until Nick and Diane finished their coffee. “Well, we’ll leave you to it,” Diane said. “We’ll see you at the bar later.”

“I think Matty said they’ll do a screech-in about nine?” Kevin said, looking to Bob for confirmation.

“Something like that,” Bob replied. “Depending on how closely he’s watching the time, of course.”


	10. Chapter 10

With a wave, Diane and Nick left the room, heading downstairs. “I can’t believe them,” Diane said. “Makes me feel old.”

“We’re not old,” Nick said. He grinned. “We’re responsible.”

“Well that’s much better,” Diane replied. “Not sure it makes me feel any younger, though.”

“Good morning,” the receptionist greeted them as they walked through the foyer. “What’s on your plan for today?”

“Shoppers for gloves,” Diane started, “and then…we haven’t decided yet.”

“Gloves?” the woman repeated. “Oh, don’t go and buy a pair, they’ll be expensive this time of year.” She reached into her bag. “Here, use mine.” Diane protested, but she insisted. “Just leave them here when you’re done, they’ll come back to me.” She smiled. “Go and enjoy your time here.”

“Thank you,” Diane said. She pulled them on, considering Nick’s question.

“So, where do you want to go?”

“I kind of want to go to the airport,” Diane said. She wrinkled her nose. “Is that weird?”

“No,” Nick said. “Well, maybe a little.”

“They had tours running on the hour,” she said. “Come on.”

“Oh, it’s too far to walk,” the receptionist said. She glanced at the clock. “My brother’s shift starts in half an hour, he can probably give you a lift.”

“Really?” Diane asked in astonishment, but she was already on the phone.

A moment later the phone call was done. “He’ll pick you up in ten minutes,” she told them. “He’s coming right past here anyway.”

“Thank you,” Diane said.

“I’m off to make a cuppa,” the receptionist said. “Can I get you one?”

“We just had coffee, thank you,” Nick replied.

“Sure, well wait in here, Terry’ll pull in for you,” she said.

“They’re exactly the same,” Diane whispered as soon as she’d left. She’d eased closer to Nick to be sure the receptionist didn’t hear her, and Nick had bent his head closer. They were very close now, and when Nick spoke she almost felt the air shift around her.

“Close,” Nick said. He took her hand in his and smiled. “But we haven’t been offered a single sandwich yet.”

She rolled her eyes at him. The gloves were warm, but it was disconcerting not to be able to feel Nick’s fingers on hers. Deliberately not looking at him, she extracted her hand and pulled one glove off before taking his hand again. His hand was almost as warm as the glove, but infinitely more comforting.

Terry arrived as promised, and he greeted them like old friends. The trip to the airport was only a few moments, and Terry chatted easily until he dropped them at the main entrance. It was strange, seeing the airport so empty. Only a few planes were visible, and those were small, much smaller than the commercial airliners that had crowded the tarmac last year.

There were a lot of people around, setting up for the ceremony the following day, Diane assumed. The tour was interesting, but she saw most of it with an overlay of her memories – people everywhere, noise, pallets of food and water stacked in tall, orderly rows. She wondered if Nick was seeing the same thing, but it seemed a strange thing to ask.

“It looks so different,” someone in front of them murmured. “I keep seeing it like it was last year.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Diane whispered to Nick.

“Me too,” Nick replied. “It seems so big now.”

Diane nodded, and they followed the rest of the group. She was looking at faces again now, wondering who else might be back for the anniversary as they were. Snippets of conversation told her there were some people, at least, and she found her head filled with glimpses of other people’s memories.

“That’s the phone I called you from, remember?”

“We stood in line forever, there were so many people here…”

“…the bathrooms are over there, you have to see the powder room!”

“It’s so strange,” Diane murmured.

Before Nick could say anything, Diane heard her name. She turned, searching faces until one beaming expression registered.

“Diane!” the woman exclaimed. “We met on the plane, remember?”

“Yes!” Diane said, smiling at the woman. “You’re Beulah’s sister. I’m sorry I don’t remember your name…”

“Rachel,” she said. “And you must be Nick.”

“Yes,” Nick said, startled. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Do you remember Beulah?” Diane asked him. “From the Academy.”

“Of course,” Nick replied. “She organised…everything as far as I can tell.”

“That’s Beulah,” Rachel agreed.

“Well, I’m glad to see you found each other,” Rachel said, and Diane felt a swoop of panic in her stomach. Was Rachel about to spill the secret she was still holding? Much as she’d convinced herself she was fine, now the moment might be here…she wasn’t sure.

Rachel went on, “I heard another screech-in’s happening tonight at Matty’s bar.” Her eyes sparkled as she looked at Diane. “You two think you’ll be down there?”

“Does anything happen in this town without everyone knowing?” Diane asked with a grin.

“Nothing,” Rachel said significantly to Diane.

“Yes, thank you,” Diane told her with wide eyes. “We’ll be there tonight.”

Rachel winked at her before turning to disappear into the crowd.

“What was that about?” Nick asked.

“Oh, just something she said on the plane,” Diane replied, still watching Rachel through the crowd. Why had she been so worried about Rachel talking about the screech-in? This morning she’d been completely ready to talk about with Nick, but now the idea made her heart beat faster. Was it because it was someone else was going to bring it up? The logical solution wasn’t any better for her heartrate, but Diane knew she had to take a chance.

“Rachel was at the screech-in last time,” Diane heard herself say. She swallowed, knowing she’d started a conversation she probably couldn’t stop now. She turned to look up at Nick. He looked confused, but as he studied the expression in her eyes, something changed. Was he really reading her so well? Diane swallowed hard but held his gaze.

“Let’s find somewhere quieter,” Nick said. “I think the tour’s mostly over, anyway.”

They walked out, Diane working on her breathing, not wanting to hyperventilate. It was a few minutes before they found a bus shelter; she sat, not sure this was the best spot for this conversation, but knowing there wasn’t really an option right now.

“So Rachel was at the screech-in,” Nick said. “Was that…I get the impression that’s significant.”

“Do you remember the screech-in?” Diane asked. She watched his face closely, and he nodded, a shade of apprehension colouring his expression. “I remember parts of it,” she said carefully.

“Right,” Nick replied. “And is that…bad?”

“The next morning I asked you if I kissed the fish,” Diane blurted, “and you said I did, but I wasn’t sure I did, except that I couldn’t really remember.” Nick’s eyes became more guarded, and she could see he knew where she was going.

“Rachel heard about some people getting screeched-in,” Diane said. “Some Texan woman and the Englishman she wasn’t married to.” Nick nodded apprehensively, but he held her eyes. “She wouldn’t kiss the fish,” Diane managed over her pounding heart, “so she kissed him instead.”

Nick nodded.

“That was us, wasn’t it?” Diane asked him. The words slipped out into the space between them and seemed to hang in the cold air.

“It was,” Nick answered finally, his tone neutral.

Diane sat quietly, wondering how she felt about that. Embarrassed as hell, that was a start. How could she have done that and then forgotten? Poor Nick, having to try and interpret wildly mixed signals from her. No wonder he’d told her the easiest answer when she’d asked. Far less trouble than having to explain her mistake.

Nick’s hands eased over, settling over hers so lightly she was almost convinced it wasn’t real. Confused, she looked up at him.

“I am so sorry I lied to you,” he said, his expression sincere. She could see his face colour, but he held her eyes and continued, “I just…you didn’t remember, and we were leaving…”

“No,” Diane said, realising he’d misinterpreted her silence, “you don’t need to apologise.” She winced. “I can’t believe I drank that much.”

Nick shifted his hands, and Diane turned hers over, holding his so they didn’t retract. “It was only two beers,” he said. “And I think I was buying them,” he admitted.

“Yes, come to think of it you might have been,” Diane said, pleased she hadn’t put her gloves on again. “I did drink them, though.”

They smiled at each other, and Diane couldn’t believe they were sitting here, holding hands and smiling, another layer of misunderstanding between them peeled away. It made her breathless, wondering if he still felt anything hanging over their heads. She still had some questions, but wasn’t sure if she was ready for the answers. Not here, at a bus stop in an airport…and it had started raining again.

Now was not the moment.

“It’s raining,” Nick said.

“It is,” Diane replied. “Should we find a phone to Terry?”

Before he could answer, a police car stopped right in front of them. A window rolled down and a friendly voice came out of the car. “No buses today, m’dears! Hope in and I’ll give you a lift home.”

Diane looked at Nick, and his grin met hers. They ducked through the rain and into the car.

“Where’s you heading?” the officer asked.

“The Comfort Inn,” Diane said. “Thank you!”

“Couldn’t leave you sitting there,” he said. “I’m Oz. You folks here for the anniversary?”

“Yes,” Nick replied.

“I was working last year,” Oz told him. “It was a time, alright.”

“Yes it was,” Diane replied.

“And did you get out to see any of the local lookouts?” Oz asked.

“Ah, yes,” Diane said, glancing at Nick. “We walked a lot.”

“Well it’s sure good to have to back,” Oz said, pulling into the Comfort Inn. “And here you go! There’s shuttles running tomorrow if you want a lift.” He grinned at them. “They’re leaving from Tim Horton’s, we figure everyone knows where that is.”

“We know,” Diane told him. “Thanks again!”

He waved them off and they ducked into the foyer.

“Coming home in the back of a police car?” a voice sounded amused behind them.

“Nice to see you out of bed,” Diane told Bob. He had another coffee in his hands, evidence of his recent trip back to Tim Horton’s. “Have you eaten any actual food today?”

“Yes,” Bob said. “If you count donuts as food.”

Diane gave him a look.

“Are you my mama?” Bob asked, grinning. “I’ll get a burger at the bar, it’ll be fine.”

“Oh my God,” she muttered, glancing at Nick. He was laughing, and she turned into him, pressing her face into his shoulder, her hand slipping around his waist. His arm came around her shoulder, and the three of them stood laughing in the foyer. Diane was warmed by the embrace with Nick as much as the ridiculous situation with Bob.

“We’re going to get something to eat,” Nick said to Bob. “Probably not donuts.”

“Or toutons,” Diane added. “Something with a vegetable.”

Bob rolled his eyes, grinning at them. “Enjoy it,” he said. Kevin came down the stairs, carrying his own coffee and looking far fresher than anyone in his situation should. “We’ll see you at the bar,” Bob said, and they left, coffees in hand.

“Good grief,” Diane said grinning.

“I know,” Nick replied. “Was it me or you that said they make me feel old?”

“I don’t know,” Diane said, “but it’s true.”

She smiled at Nick, realising she still had her arm wrapped around him. He still had his around her too, and the world condensed, pulling in until it was just his arms and his eyes, the warm affection bubbling between them, no longer hidden at all.

“Come on,” she murmured. “We should have something to eat if we’re going to sit in a bar all night.”

“I am not drinking,” Nick said, easing away enough for them to walk over to the Inn’s restaurant.

“Neither am I,” Diane said, “but I said that last time, too.”

He smiled at her and this time, he held her chair as they sat at the table. It felt different, she thought; he was smiling, just a slight amusement dancing between his eyes and mouth, and it was contagious, her own mouth turning up at the ends in response. Their hands came together in the middle of the table without either speaking, and with a thump of her heart, Diane realised what it felt like.

It felt like a date.

Not a first date, with the getting to know you and awkwardness. This felt like the kind of date where you both knew something was going to happen – but not quite yet. Anticipation sparked through the air, and she thought Nick could feel it too. It was as though all the concerns she’d brought with her back to Gander had been addressed. Their awkward conversations had gently pulled them apart, showing them to be unfounded; and after it all, she and Nick sat here together. Their eyes were locked on each other as they sat, fingers gently stroking, neither needing to rush anything. She trusted him, and she could feel his trust in return, his patience having helped guide them both here, and now they were in it together, enjoying the anticipation.

“What can I get you to start?” Their server appeared.

“We need a few minutes,” Nick said, only glancing at her briefly before looking back at Diane. As soon as she left, he leaned in closer, the smile widening as he asked, “How adventurous are you feeling, exactly?”

Diane looked at him, her eyebrows rising in surprise. “I trust you,” she replied, infusing the words with as much meaning as possible. It wasn’t just now, with her meal; her trust extended far further. He smiled, and she knew he understood what she’d meant. Butterflies took flight in her stomach as Diane realised how much she’d wanted to get to this point, how hard she’d really tried to convince herself it could happen despite her certainty it couldn’t.

And now it was here, and Nick’s eyes were as glued to her as hers were to him, and not a single word needed to be spoken to know they both felt it.

When the waitress returned, they still hadn’t looked at the menu.

“We,” Nick said to her, “would like some help ordering.”

She looked wary, but said, “Sure, do you have any idea what you’d like?”

“What would you suggest for a pair of,” he hesitated, looking at Diane.

“Come from aways,” she supplied.

“Come from aways,” he echoed, “who want something uniquely Newfoundland?”

The server blinked. “Um, probably…cod tongue and salt pork?”

“Perfect,” Nick said. “One serve of each, we’ll share.”

“And to drink?” the server asked.

“Water please,” he replied firmly.

Diane felt herself holding in laughter until the server was gone, at which time she burst into uncontrollable giggles. “She’s going to think we’re crazy,” she managed.

“Probably,” Nick agreed. “But after all this time in Newfoundland, I think we both need to try cod tongue.”

Diane shivered. “I can’t believe I let you order that for me.”

“I thought you trusted me?” Nick asked, grinning.

“I thought I did,” Diane said, with a smile and a dramatic expression. “I’ll have to get back to you on that, though.”

They talked about food again, and the airport today, wondering what the ceremony the next day would bring. When the server arrived with their meals, Diane looked at Nick apprehensively, a nervous smile on her face.

They both thanked her and peered at the plates in front of them.

“Should I go first?” Nick asked.

“Absolutely,” Diane said with conviction.

Nick picked up a small piece of cod tongue and looked at it doubtfully. Diane was covering her mouth, unsure if Nick would actually go through with it – but then he did, wincing as he chewed and swallowed.

“Well?” she asked.

“It’s not bad,” he said. “It’s kind of…chewy.”

Diane looked at him as he selected a small piece for her. “Ahhh,” she said quietly as he pointed it towards her.

“Go on,” he said, grinning at her pained expression.

Closing her eyes Diane opened her mouth and ate it, chewing tentatively. It wasn’t terrible, she thought; much like fish, really. Especially if she didn’t think about it took much.

“It’s…alright,” she said. She met Nick’s eyes and they both laughed.

Slowly the meals dwindled as Nick and Diane shared each dish, laughing at more memories of their time in Gander the previous year. When they were done and their plates were cleared, Nick asked, “Dessert?”

“Depends if you’re going to share the toutons or not,” Diane asked. “I can’t eat a whole serve but I could have some of yours.”

“You’re asking me to share my toutons?” Nick exclaimed with a smile.

“I know, it’s a ridiculous request,” Diane said. “You go ahead and order them, I’m fine.”

When the waitress appeared, Nick ordered toutons. “You can share them,” he said. “I wouldn’t let just anyone, mind you.”

“Thank you,” Diane replied.

Their conversation meandered along again, quiet and aimless, nothing important but all significant as the evening drew in around them. Nick’s toutons arrived and he did share them, true to his word. They were better than the previous night for coming off the same plate, Diane thought. Almost as soon as they’d started, the plate was empty.

“Coffee?” the server asked as she cleared his plate.

“No thanks,” Diane smiled.

Nick paid and they left, heading for the bar. Diane felt almost excited at the prospect of the evening. She could feel then drawing closer to a resolution, the anticipation ramping her up. She felt giddy, and she had to make a conscious effort not to squeeze Nick’s fingers as they walked through the crips evening air.

“Do you think Kevin and Bob are doing alright?” Diane asked.

“I’m sure they’re having a great time,” Nick replied. He frowned. “Do you think you can be screeched-in more than once?”

“I don’t know,” Diane asked. “Do you think it even counts last time?”

“For those of us who kissed the fish, it does,” Nick replied, grinning at her. The flirty edge to the tease was unexpected, and Diane felt a thrill run through her. Were they doing that, then? She decided to go along with it.

“Hey,” Diane protested. “Claude said I had a choice, so I’m sure it does.”

“I don’t know,” Nick replied. “I mean, it’s a vital part of the ceremony, right?”

“Fine,” Diane said. “We’ll ask him, and what he says goes.”

“Fine,” Nick replied, “but if he says it doesn’t count, you have to get screeched-in again tonight.”

Diane stared at him, knowing her mouth was hanging open. She did not anticipate Nick doing this, but it was comforting to know he was following her down this path, the flirty teasing she’d begun affecting him, too. “Fine,” she said. “I will.”

“And you’ll kiss the fish?” Nick asked, grinning.

“I might,” Diane replied, feeling the flirt rise in her again. If he could surprise her, she could do it too. “It all depends.”

“It depends?” Nick repeated, raising his eyebrows. He looked at her for a moment and she wondered if he was going to ask, but he did. “On what?”

She looked at him, deliberately smiling mysteriously. “I think you’ll have to see.”

Nick opened his mouth, then closed it again. Diane wondered for a moment if she’d pushed it too far, but then he smiled back and squeezed her fingers. She felt sparks shoot up her arm at the contact, and the expression in Nick’s eye made her shiver. She felt brave almost, the trust between them palpable as they walked through the night.


	11. Chapter 11

“Here we are,” Diane said as they approached the bar.

“I hope Claude’s here,” Nick said, holding the door for her.

“No beer this time,” Diane told him, grinning.

“No beer,” Nick said, and as she passed, he ducked down and said in her ear, “but I’d say one of us will be drinking screech tonight.”

Diane paused, turning her head back to look at him incredulously, a smile on her face. “I don’t think so,” she replied.

They made their way in, Nick’s hand on the small of her back a small detail that still sent a thrill up her spine. The room was loud and hot, packed with people.

“Looks like this is the place to be,” Nick said in her ear. The hot breath against her ear made her shiver again, and Diane wondered if he was doing it on purpose. It was certainly working for her. She spotted Kevin, who waved with an enthusiasm borne of an afternoon spent drinking. He pointed to two chairs beside him, and Diane reached back to grab Nick’s hand, pointing him towards Kevin.

They pushed through the crowd, waving hellos to Kevin and Bob and the other people at the table, none of whom Diane recognised. She stripped off her extra layers and draped them over the chair. Nick was doing the same, and she saw him lean over to talk to Bob. He listened, nodded, then pointed across the bar. Nick grinned at him, then at Diane.

“Claude,” he mouthed, pointing to the other side of the bar.

She raised her eyebrows, nodding, and worked her way around the table to meet him. They shared a look before linking hands. Nick lead the way, Diane’s fingers held tight in his. She couldn’t see far in front of her; it was just a mob of people and Nick’s back. She could vaguely hear some music, something that sounded like the reels they’d played last year; she’d bet there was a fiddle and an ugly stick somewhere around.

Finally, Nick stopped, and Diane came around beside him. Claude was standing in front of them, an amused look on his face at Nick’s determined expression.

“What can I do for you, son?” he asked.

“Do you remember the screech-in last year?” Nick asked. “We were there…”

“Of course I do!” Claude said. “How often do you think someone kisses a person instead of the fish?”

Diane felt her face colour, but she asked, “But it counts, right?”

“What counts?” Claude asked.

“The screech-in!” Diane exclaimed. “I’m a Newfoundlander, right?”

Claude looked at her in confusion.

“She didn’t kiss the fish, though,” Nick protested, squeezing her hand as he spoke. “So it doesn’t count, right?”

Claude looked between them, finally seeming to realise what was going on. “Well,” he said, grinning, “technically you didn’t kiss the fish,” he said to Diane, “but I did tell you it would count if you kissed him,” this was directed at Nick, and he paused.

“So it does count!” Diane exclaimed.

“Look, there’s only one way to be sure,” Claude said, grinning at them both. “We’re doing another screech-in tonight, you can join in. Make sure you do it right this time.”

Nick grinned and shook his hand. Diane was shaking her head, but her eyes were still pinned on Nick. He looked delighted, his eyes bright and wide as he and Claude spoke over the noise. She really didn’t care about doing the screech-in now; watching Nick, she accepted fully that regardless of what happened here, she was head over heels in love with him. When Nick turned, his eyes searching for her, Diane didn’t try to hide what she knew was writ on her face. She smiled at him, hoping he could see it in her eyes, knowing it almost didn’t matter right now.

His eyes met hers, his shoulders relaxing, but as their gaze held, she could tell he saw something on her. He looked confused, so Diane walked over to him and spoke in his ear.

“What’s happening?” she asked, slipping her arm around his waist. He relaxed at her touch, easing into her as his arm settled around her shoulder.

“Screech-in in half an hour,” Nick said, his eyes sparkling. “Assuming you’re still interested?”

“Of course,” Diane replied. “If it’s gotta be done.”

He grinned at her. “Should we find somewhere to sit?” he asked.

“Don’t like our chances,” Diane replied, looking around. “Actually, Kevin held chairs for us, remember?”

“Right,” Nick replied. They fought their way back through to the table, grinning as Kevin welcomed them again as long lost friends.

“Where did you go?” he exclaimed.

“Had to find Claude,” Diane told him. “Apparently I have to get screeched-in again.” Nick smirked at her side, and she elbowed him, their bodies pressing together in the crush.

“What?” Kevin asked. He leaned in dramatically and said in the loudest whisper ever heard, “Is it because you kissed him instead of the fish?”

Her face was already warm but Diane knew it flushed even deeper. “Something like that,” she said.

She’d never thought drunk people actually did a double take, but Kevin definitely looked at Nick, then back at Diane, then at Nick again. “Oops,” he said dramatically.

“It’s fine,” Diane said. “We both know I know.”

Kevin giggled at that. “Good to hear,” he said, slapping Nick on the shoulder.

Nick winced, turning to Diane. “Ouch?” she said sympathetically.

“He knew?” Nick asked her.

Diane shrugged. “Anyone who was there knew,” she said. “But he knew I didn’t know.” She frowned. “That’s getting confusing to say.”

Nick grinned. “Easier when you haven’t had any beer, though,” he said.

“Okay!” A voice was audible over the noise – Diane was pretty sure there was some kind of microphone arrangement going on. It repeated until everyone settled down, turning to face the bar. “It’s time for a bit of a ceremony!” Claude’s voice came across the assembled heads. “I’m gonna need Texan Diane up here, and anyone else who wants to be a Newfoundlander!”

A cheer went up, and noise erupted as people slapped their friends on the back, locals finding come from aways and prodding them towards the bar.

“Come on,” Nick said.

“Okay, okay,” Diane replied. She grabbed his hand, suddenly nervous. She wanted him there, and she definitely did not want to kiss that fish.

He stood on the edge of the crowd, arms crossed and watching with a huge grin on her face. Diane made a face at him, accepting the hat and shot glass. She grinned as someone dramatically gave the history of screech, rolling her eyes as Nick made serious looking faces at her. The screech was far worse than she remembered; it burned and tasted like burnt herbs. She felt the shudder course through her, and opened her eyes to meet Nick’s. The noise was deafening, but she saw him mouth, ‘kiss the fish!’

Claude did his dramatic bit again about kissing the fish, and Diane felt butterflies flutter in her stomach. It looked exactly as disgusting as she remembered. A glance at Nick, smirk in place, and she resolved to do it, but as Claude approached she felt her resolve falter.

“Come on, Texas!” Claude said, presenting the fish to her. She hesitated, and he said, “Come on! Vital part of the ceremony!” He waggled the fish at her. “Not as much fun as kissing that Englishman, but you can probably do both!” Diane burst out laughing and without thinking she kissed the cod in front of her. It was cold and slimy and she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth in disgust. When she looked over to Nick, who was laughing, his face was open and delighted and her heart soared. With Claude’s words ringing in her ears, Diane tossed her hat and walked across the bar, eyes pinned to Nick. Her hands landed on his chest, and without thinking she slid them up and around his neck.

She hesitated, looking into his eyes, seeing the surprise morph into pleasure and relief. She felt his hands on her waist, and when he leaned down she met him halfway. Her mind stuttered disconnected words _yes finally Nick_ and her arms wound tighter around his neck. There was no sound, only touch and fire between them, but when the kiss broke noise burst in. Diane looked around to find she and Nick the centre of attention, the cheers and raised glasses headed in their direction instead of the last few people kissing the fish.

In fact as she looked over, Diane realised the ceremony had halted.

Claude looked at them both, exasperation and affection mixing on his face. He stalked over in mock annoyance. “I have to ask,” he said to Diane, “have you been drinking?”

The bar erupted into laughter.

“Nosir,” Diane said automatically, face flaming at the attention.

“And you,” Claude said, turning to Nick. He looked apprehensive, and Diane felt his fingers tighten on her waist. Claude’s face was stern for a moment before he said, “Just remember who can get you two hitched if you want.”

Nick’s eyes went wide, Diane burst out laughing, the crowd cheered, Claude clapped them on the back. Diane looked up and reached to kiss Nick again. She heard Claude this time, loud through the microphone.

“Only took them a year!” He said. “Texan Diane and the Englishman she’s not married to, everyone!” The crowd cheered again, and their kiss broke, Diane burying her face in his shoulder. Thankfully, Claude went back to finish the screech-in, and while some people came over to congratulate them, most transferred their attention to the ceremony.

“So you’re a Newfoundlander,” Nick said in Diane’s ear.

“Finally,” she agreed. “Should we go and tell Kevin the good news?”

“What, that you finally kissed the fish?” Nick asked.

“No,” Diane said, swatting at his arm. “That I finally kissed the Englishman.”

“While sober,” Nick said.

She rolled her eyes. “While sober,” she agreed. They laced their fingers before fighting their way through the crowd to where they’d left Kevin and Bob, enduring pats on the back and well wishes the whole way. Unsurprisingly, Kevin and Bob were drinking, sitting at their table. Diane thought it was unlikely they’d seen what happened.

“Trust me?” she said, pulling Nick down so she could be heard by him without the table hearing.

“Of course,” he said.

“Good,” she replied. They walked over to the table, hand-in-hand as usual, and Kevin and Bob grinned sluggishly at them.

“So you got screeched-in?” Kevin asked. He frowned. “Did I hear your name or something?”

“Something like that,” Diane said, squeezing Nick’s hand. “Actually, Claude didn’t believe I’d kissed the fish and he dared me to kiss Nick instead.”

Kevin looked almost comically surprised. He looked back and forward between the two of them. “So?” he said, throwing his arms wide.

“Yeah, what happened?” Bob asked, his eyes wide.

Diane shrugged. “I wasn’t going to just kiss Nick for no reason,” she said indignantly. “Besides, I haven’t had a single beer!”

“What?” Kevin managed.

“No, it’s fine,” Nick replied, grinning. “We talked.”

“Yeah, there’s just nothing between us,” Diane replied.

“Are you kidding me?” Bob shouted.

“Actually,” Diane said with a grin, “yes, we are.” She turned and grabbed Nick by the collar, pulling him down into a kiss. He followed her lead, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her back with abandon. It started deliberately dramatic but quickly devolved into something deeper and more passionate, and it wasn’t until something cold sloshed over her that Diane pulled away, gasping as the liquid ran down her skin.

“What?” she gasped, looking over at Nick. He was wet too, and just as shocked. They both looked at the table, where Kevin stood holding a now empty water pitcher, a huge grin on his face.

“Get a room,” he told them. “Oh, wait you already have one!”

Bob burst into laughter, sharing a sloppy high five with Kevin. “Get out of here, you two,” he said. “And try not to keep us up all night, alright?”

Diane’s face was flaming, but she was laughing at the same time. Meeting Nick’s eyes – he seemed to have borne the brunt of the water – she grinned at him. He returned it, and Diane knew what the rest of the evening would bring. With a wink at him, she leaned over to collect her coat and scarf, saying to Kevin sotto voce, “Might want to invest in a set of earplugs, boys. We make no promises.”

The table was howling with laughter as she grabbed Nick’s hand and pulled him out of the bar.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Nick said, holding her coat while she put her scarf on.

“Neither can I,” Diane admitted, her face growing hot again at the memory. “Oh my God, that was so crude!”

“Well, they did throw a jug of water over us,” Nick said, plucking at the front of his shirt.

“They may have had a point,” Diane admitted. “We were hardly discreet.”

“They would not have picked up on discreet,” Nick told her as they started walking. “How drunk were they?”

“Hopefully drunk enough to sleep though any disturbances on our floor tonight,” Diane said, just to see his expression change.

“Diane!” he admonished her, his face flaming. She thought he looked moderately impressed, though.

“We are both wearing wet clothes,” Diane pointed out, “and we’re sharing a room, and a bed, and half the island thinks we’re living in sin,” she said the last bit dramatically, loving his smile, “so all that’s left is the actual sin.”

Nick shook his head, badly suppressing a smile, his cheeks flushing. “You’re incorrigible,” he murmured.

Diane wondered if she’d laid it on a bit thick, so she squeezed his hand and said, “I’m just being silly.”

“Oh no,” Nick said, “it’s fine.” He smiled self-consciously. “Since we’ll have to undress anyway…” his face flushed and Diane crowed with laughter.

“Oh, I’m corrupting you already,” she said, chuckling. She felt silly and playful, a million miles from the anxious version of her that had boarded two planes to get here. So much had changed, she thought, as the climbed the stairs to their room, and yet she felt more like herself than she had in months.

+++

“So I have to ask,” Diane said later, curling closer around Nick, “you said you’d applied for a transfer at work.”

“Yes,” Nick murmured. He pulled the blanket a little higher over their bare skin.

“Did you have anywhere in mind?” Diane asked.

“Yes, actually,” Nick answered.

“Where?” Diane asked, trying to be casual about it, wondering if he could feel her heart pounding.

“Well you know we have offices in London, Abu Dhabi, Rio,” Nick listed, “and Dallas.”

“Dallas?” Diane asked. She scrambled to turn, searching for Nick’s face. “Are you serious?”

Nick nodded. “They said no, of course…but there are other companies there. Options.” He looked at her, studying her expression a little anxiously. “Is that…would that be alright?”

Diane was struck. “You were talking about this before Gander,” she said, trying to piece a timeline together.

“Yes,” Nick agreed.

“Without talking to me,” Diane said. “Assuming…were you going to move to Dallas?” She swallowed. “For me?”

Nick smiled. “Yes,” he said simply.

“Why?” Diane asked. “Before we met back here? What if…” she swallowed again. She’d been teasing earlier, thinking Nick might say he’d been considering Dallas…but this was far more than she expected.

Nick shifted so he could look at her more fully. “If they’d approved it,” he said clearly, “I would have flown over, explained how entirely in love with you I was – and still am – and hoped that you reciprocated.”

Diane blinked. “What?”

Nick’s fingers flexed nervously on her, but he didn’t look away. “I love you.” He said it simply and with no guile and Diane was suddenly aware of tears running down her face. She hadn’t realised how much she had wanted to hear him say those words. His actions spoke loud, of course, but there was something about the simple honest declaration that made her heart swell. She couldn’t speak, though her mouth was open; it was just…she couldn’t find the words. Any words.

Blinking tears away, she focussed on Nick’s expression, which was shifting slightly into something more alarmed.

“No, no,” she said, swallowing down tears, “no…I love you too, they’re happy tears.” She pressed a wet kiss to his mouth, laughing at the same time. “Oh my God, you were going to move across the Atlantic without even knowing?”

“I didn’t know about you,” Nick said, “but I knew about me.”

Diane’s mouth dropped open. Nick looked so certain, and calm. “That,” she said, feeling more tears start streaming down her cheeks again, “that is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Nick grinned, then chuckled as she pressed her face into his shoulder. “So you wouldn’t mind if I moved to Dallas?” he asked.

She raised her head to look at him. “Mind?” she repeated. She couldn’t help another laugh as it burbled up. “Why would I mind?” She kissed him again, laughing and crying and happier than she thought was even possible. “Hang on, you said they refused the transfer.”

“Well, yes,” Nick said. He was smiling at her, relaxed now that he’d heard what she had to say. “But there are other companies. Other jobs.”

“Really?” Diane whispered. Her insecurity bubbled up and she blurted, “but your job is important to you, and important, and-”

Nick kissed her, pressing together, rolling until she was breathless, her fingers digging into his skin as she fought to held onto reality. “You are important,” he said, “more important than work.”

“Okay,” Diane squeaked, a little overwhelmed by his response. She’d never had dreamed he would feel so strongly, but he was kissing her again, and she was drifting off again on a sea of arousal and the glorious knowledge that she was loved.


	12. Chapter 12

Diane was having a wonderful dream – something about Nick – when a pounding on the door tore her suddenly out of the dream and back into reality. Nick had started awake at the same time as she, and they blinked at each other for a minute before looking to the door.

“I’ll get it,” Nick said, kissing her before slipping out of bed and into his pyjama trousers. He pulled on a t-shirt before grabbing his glasses and opening the door a crack.

“I’m assuming you’re decent in there?” Kevin’s voice rang out.

“Oh! Yes…” Nick managed before Kevin continued,

“I am so glad we didn’t come home last night,” Kevin announced, pushing past Nick with one sweeping glance. He winked at Diane, waving two enormous coffees in the air before him. “I figured you two might get carried away, so Bob and I brought you coffee. Consider this your wakeup call.”

“Good morning,” Diane said, holding the blanket over herself as she sat up. “I’m guessing you had a good night, then?”

“We did,” came from outside the room.

“Bob’s keeping his distance. We didn’t know how dressed you’d be,” Kevin explained. Diane felt herself flush, and pulled the blanket a little tighter. Kevin gave her a knowing smirk. “You have half an hour to get ready and get yourselves to Tim Horton’s for the shuttle. We’ve saved you a step with the coffee, but if you’re not downstairs in twenty minutes we will use this without prejudice.” He picked up the key sitting on their bench, winked again at Diane and closed the door on his way out.

Nick, who hadn’t managed a word in the whole exchange, just turned to look at her.

“You’d better get moving,” Diane grinned at him, “if you want first shower.”

Nick nodded. He pulled a set of clothes from his drawers, passed Diane her coffee and stopped for a lingering kiss on the way.

“Go on,” Diane said, grinning. “I don’t think a two person shower is going to be too productive.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Nick countered.

Diane sipped from her coffee, grinning to herself as he closed the bedroom door behind him. The shower ran immediately, and she took the opportunity to put her own pyjamas on. It was far too cold not to, and she wanted to be ready to go when the bathroom was free. Twenty minutes wasn’t very long and she had to do hair and makeup as well.

Nick was quick in the shower, and Diane was impressed that they both made it downstairs inside the twenty minute window. Kevin was too, based on his smile for them both.

“Ready?” he said, tossing their key back to Nick.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Diane said, and they fell into step as they walked towards Tim Horton’s. Nick and Bob lead the way, and it was strange not to be holding Nick’s hand. The air was much colder today, and she was glad for the borrowed gloves she still had in her pocket, plus she was still working on the coffee Bob and Kevin had brought.

“Of course you haven’t,” Kevin said, grinning at her. “I’m guessing you two were actually…”

“Yes, thank you,” Diane said, face heating as his insinuation.

“But did you tell him…” Kevin deliberately trailed off.

“Actually,” Diane said, knowing her face was flushing harder, “he said it first.”

“He did?” Kevin exclaimed. His face lit up and he turned, walking backwards to face Diane as they moved.

“He was going to move to Texas,” Diane said. “He’d started planning before we got here.”

“Before he knew how you felt?” Kevin asked.

“He said he knew how _he_ felt,” Diane admitted.

“Holy shit,” Kevin said. “That is some romantic moment!”

“Yeah,” she said, feeling herself grinning like a schoolgirl.

“So when’s the wedding?” he asked, grinning back at her.

Diane blinked at him. “What?”

“Kidding,” he said. “But I want an invitation when it happens, okay?”

“Right,” Diane said. She couldn’t tell how serious Kevin was, but as they approached Tim Horton’s she saw the bus and a whole lot of people. A flutter of nerves took flight in her stomach. She took a deep breath and glanced at Kevin. “You brought tissues, right?”

“Of course,” he said, patting his pocket. He looked as apprehensive as she suddenly felt.

“Do you know…do you keep in touch with Kevin?” she asked carefully.

“No,” he said, smiling tightly. “It was a long time ago now, but being here again…”

“It feels closer,” she finished for him. Impulsively, she slipped her hand into his and gave it a squeeze. “It’s a good thing you’re doing, you and Bob. You’re making a difference, you know.”

“Am I?” he asked quietly. The show of self-doubt was rare for him, and Diane stopped, turning him to face her.

“Yes,” she said firmly. “You are.” They both reached for the hug at the same time, and Diane felt her eyes well as they both clung for a long, fierce moment. When it broke she took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said, smiling at him, “let’s see if we can hold it together until we at least get to the airport.”

“Unlikely,” Kevin said.

“Come on you two!” Nick shouted. He and Bob were waiting by the bus. “We don’t have all day!”

Kevin and Diane grinned and hurried over, tossing their coffee cups before boarding the bus.

“We’re here,” Diane said, dropping into the seat beside Nick.

“Okay, we’re off!” The bus driver closed the door, and Diane had the strangest sense of déjà vu. She shivered. “School buses again,” she murmured as Nick covered her hand with his.

“I know,” he said. The bus was quieter than Diane thought it might be, and as they approached the airport she felt herself getting more emotional. Memories were coming back faster now, as she saw more familiar faces, and a sea of school buses and cars at the airport. She pulled off her glove again as they climbed off the bus, taking Nick’s again immediately as they followed the crowd inside. Another deep breath, and she squeezed Nick’s hand. This was what they were here for.

+++

“Well,” Nick said an hour later. “That was beautiful.”

“It was,” Diane agreed. She’d given up ages ago trying not to cry, and now she kept tissues in her hand. The ceremony had been fairly short, but a number of people had spoken, including Claude, giving the official speech, and Kevin and Bob, presenting their scholarship money to the town on behalf of everyone on their flight. It had been an emotional moment, Claude and many of the locals crying at the generosity, Kevin and Bob trying to explain how much the hospitality had meant in the first place.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

After, people were mingling, telling stories, and there was more laughter than Diane had thought there would be. A lot of reminiscences were positive, she reflected, and she and Nick ran into a number of people they knew, including at one point…

“Beulah!” Diane exclaimed. The woman before her turned around, her eyes lighting up as she recognised Diane. “I sat beside your sister on my flight here,” Diane told her.

“Rachel told me!” Beulah said. She looked over at Nick, at their joined hands and the affectionate look they shared. “Please tell me you kissed the Englishman again.”

“I kiss the fish first,” Diane said, grinning, “but then I did,” Diane replied, squeezing Nick’s hand. “Several times.”

“Good!” Beulah said. “I couldn’t believe it when Rachel told me what you’d said on the plane.” She stopped, eyes wide, glancing at Nick.

“Oh, we all know all about that now,” Diane said. “Don’t worry, it’s all out there.”

Beulah looked relieved. “Well, now that you’re both Newfoundlanders, you’ll have to come back and visit again!”

“Oh I expect we’ll be here for our honeymoon,” Nick said casually.

“What?” Beulah said, at the same time as Diane said,

“What?”

“Well, it’s not official yet,” Nick said, grinning at Diane, “but give us time.”

“You’ve had a year!” Beulah replied. “How much longer do you need?”

Diane was still looking at Nick, and she raised one eyebrow and said, “Yes, Nick, how much longer?”

Nick met her eyes, and she saw him recognise the challenge there. “Well in that case,” he said, “do you trust me?”

“I think I probably do,” Diane said. She grinned at him. “What did you have in mind?”

“Come on, Beulah,” Nick said, and he pulled Diane through the crowd. “Kevin! Bob!” Nick pulled them in too, and then he was dragging Diane to the stage, Beulah, Bob and Kevin trailing behind. Before Diane could protest, Nick found Claude, and the whole group surrounded him.

“Claude,” Nick said, gripping Diane’s hand tightly, “exactly how much notice do we need to get married here?”

Claude looked at him blankly for a moment. “Well, none,” he said, “as long as the paperwork’s been sent off.”

Nick looked at him, eyebrows raised. “And assuming we were to send the paperwork off this afternoon,” he said, glancing at Diane, “how would you feel about officiating a wedding today?”

“Right now?” Claude asked.

“Sure,” Diane said, her heart thumping in her chest. There was no way she would have done this any other place, or time or with any other person…but this was Gander, with Nick…and it felt perfect. “Why not?”

Beulah gasped behind her, and Claude shrugged. “Okay, then!” He waved at the crowd still mingling in the foyer. “Right here, or did you have somewhere else in mind?”

“Here’s good,” Nick said. “We’ve waited a whole year. How much longer do we need?”

Diane grinned at him. “You’re crazy,” she said.

“I am,” he replied. “Want to be crazy with me?”

“Sure,” she said. Claude clapped his hands, grinning at them both, and then to Diane’s surprise, waved them over to the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” he announced into the microphone, taking it from the stand. “Can we get you to make a space so’s everyone can see.” People shuffled around, a wide semi-circle appearing around Claude, Nick, Diane, Kevin, Bob and Beulah. People were looking at each other curiously, and Diane’s stomach flipped a little at all the eyes on them.

Claude continued, “Last time we were here, this time last year, we had a little ceremony, and these two took part.” He waved at Nick and Diane. “She’s from Texas and he’s from England, and they met here in Gander.” Diane could see some people looking puzzled, but Claude went on, “When it came to the screech-in, Nick kissed the fish, but Diane couldn’t do it.” A groan went up around the room dissolving into laughter. “Instead she kissed this Englishman!” The crowd cheered. “Well, we’re here again, and we’re gonna do another ceremony, but this time, she’s meant to kiss him at the end!” Claude raised his arms and said, “Let’s get these two hitched!”

A huge cheer rose around the room, and Diane squeezed Nick’s hand.

“Are you sure?” Nick asked, bending to murmur in her ear. “I know I asked if you trusted me, but…” he trailed off.

“I do trust you,” Diane said. She looked up at him. “Let’s do it.”

Claude, Bob, Kevin and Beulah arranged themselves so Nick and Diane were in the centre, Claude holding the microphone. He said something, and Diane assumed it was heartfelt and probably funny, given the ripples of laughter around the room. She could only see Nick, only feel his hands holding hers. As strange as it felt to be standing here like this, not quite paying attention to her own wedding ceremony, she was overwhelmed by the love she could feel in the room. There was Nick, of course, but the rest of the crowd was also sending love out and it felt so _right_.

“Do you take Nick…hang on, I don’t even know your full name,” Claude exclaimed to the delight of the crowd.

“Nicholas Alexander Marson,” Nick replied.

“Do you take Nicholas Alexander Marson to be your husband?” Claude asked Diane.

“Yes,” she replied, smiling at him again, feeling tears roll down her cheeks yet again.

“And do you take…” Claude trailed off, looking at Diane expectantly.

“Diane Marie Gray,” she supplied.

“…to be your wife?” he asked Nick.

“I do,” Nick replied, squeezing her hands as he spoke. She could feel him tremble as he did and it made her feel better. They were both taking a risk...What was the lyric from that song? Something about…

_Jump right in with both feet tied and you’ll be a Newfoundlander…_

“Well that’s it, then!” Claude said. “If nobody has any objection-”

“-they don’t!” Kevin interjected. “Get on with it Claude!”

The room broke into laughter, Diane and Nick included.

“Alright, alright,” Claude grumbled with a smile. “Well in that case, you two can consider yourselves hitched! I now pronounce you husband and wife!” He raised his arms, then looked at Diane expectantly. “Well go on, kiss the Englishman you’re finally married to!”

The room erupted in cheers before she’d actually kissed him, and as soon as she felt Nick’s lips touch hers everything else faded into the background. Her arms wrapped around him, and she felt his do the same.

“Come on, break it up,” a voice came from close by. “I don’t have any water or I’d have doused you already!”

Diane and Nick broke apart to see Kevin’s grinning face beside them. “Congratulations!” he said, hugging them both. Diane turned, accepting teary hugs from Beulah and from Rachel, who’d fought her way through the crowd to come and greet them. Bob hugged her too, grinning widely, and Claude was there; Diane smiled at them all, but her eyes were seeking out Nick. He was in a circle of his own well-wishers, but his eyes found hers and they smiled warmly across the people.

“Back to the bar?” A voice shouted, and it was Matty, standing on the stage with his arms in the air.

“Yeah!” a bunch of people – Diane would bet it was led by Kevin and Bob – cheered loudly.

“Why am I not surprised?” A familiar voice sounded in Diane’s ear, and she turned to smile at Nick. At her husband, she realised with a shiver.

“Exactly how legal was that wedding?” she asked him, ignoring the swell of people around them. “I mean, last year I took part in a ceremony up here and it turns out it wasn’t even binding!”

Nick’s arms slid around her waist, and she looked up into his eyes, seeing the love radiating from his face right at her. “It’s not exactly the same,” he said, leaning close, eyes twinkling.

“It’s not?” Diane asked. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Why is that, exactly?”

“This time,” he told her, “you were meant to kiss the Englishman.”

“True,” she replied, and as he kissed her again, she knew this was exactly where she was meant to be for the rest of her life. Right here, with Nick.

In person.


End file.
